Thursday, February 28, 2008


does this bring back memories... kinda sad really...

Things that make me wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat

"Rosie O'Donnell and Fran Drescher are working together on creating a new sitcom."

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Hello? Is anyone there?

Yes, I am still here... I am still writing, I just haven't had a chance to write lately.

Not only did The Peanut Butter get the flu, so did Honey Mustard... the two of them then got upper respitory infections... followed by The Jelly getting a sinus infection (but NOT the flu thank God).

I, knock on wood, have not gotten anything... wait, does my throat feel scratchy now? Do I feel warm?


This weekend marks the annual Chorizo-making fun with my Dad, brother and a slew of cousins and Uncles. And making a special guest-appearance this weekend is none other than that other missing blogger; Scott.

Hopefully I will have more stories to regale you with upon my return.

Now I'm going to take some Vitamin C and echinacea...

Thursday, February 14, 2008


Valentine's Day

No, you’re not having a bad flashback… I wrote this post for Valentine’s Day 2006… but I’ve updated some areas, so enjoy this post with 40% added material…

Tomorrow I will post the poem I wrote for my wife the year we started dating, which was published in my univeristy's poetry magazine...

I love my wife more and more each day. And each day I am grateful she is with me for eternity and has given us our beautiful daughters, The Peanut Butter and The Jelly. She laughs at my jokes, she compliments my cooking and, last but not least; she makes me a better man, husband, and father, and for that I can never thank you enough. I love you, always… and forever.Ok… how about some handy dandy Valentine’s Day statistics… cause nothing says love like statistical data…

+ 15% of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day
+ 73% of people who buy flowers for Valentine's Day are men, 27% are women
+ about 3% of pet owners will give Valentine's Day gifts to their pets (your dog wants Ghiradelli)
+ California produces about 60% of American roses, but the majority sold on Valentine's Day in the United States are imported, my guess for that would be because it’s winter here
+ 64% of men do not make plans in advance for a romantic Valentine's Day with their sweethearts (I would have thought that number would have been much larger)
+ Consumers will spend an average of $77.43 on Valentine's Day gifts this year

Did you enjoy those? I knew you would. Ok… how about some Inane Valentine’s Day trivia…

On this date in 1929, the "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" took place in Chicago, Illinois. Seven gangsters, all rivals of Al Capone, were killed. People think that it was Capone’s men that did the killing but they’re wrong. It was the seven gangster’s wives who didn’t even get a card, much less flowers or chocolates, for Valentine’s Day… Remember the saying: hell hath no fury like a woman forgotten on Valentine’s Day.

Alexander Graham Bell applied for his patent on the telephone on Valentine's Day, 1876… guys, could you imagine how V-Day would be if Bell hadn’t invented the phone? I would say, but I’ve grown accustomed to my genetalia.

That some famous people have gotten married on February 14th? The Captain to Tennille, Elton John to Renate Blauel, Jerry Garcia to Deborah Koons,

What’s that you say? Now you want some... Historical background on Valentine’s Day?

As early as the fourth century B.C., the Romans engaged in an annual young man's rite to passage to the God Lupercus. The names of teenage women were placed in a box and drawn at random by adolescent men; thus, a man was assigned a woman companion for the duration of the year, after which another lottery was staged. After eight hundred years of this practice, the early church fathers sought to end it. They found an answer in Valentine, a bishop who had been martyred some two hundred years earlier.According to church tradition St. Valentine was a priest near Rome in about the year 270 A.D.(At that time the Roman Emperor Claudius-II who had issued an edict forbidding marriage. This was around when the heyday of Roman empire had almost come to an end. Lack of quality administrators led to frequent civil strife. Learning declined, taxation increased, and trade slumped to a low, precarious level. And the Gauls, Slavs, Huns, Turks and Mongolians from Northern Europe and Asian increased their pressure on the empire's boundaries. The empire was grown too large to be shielded from external aggression and internal chaos with existing forces. Thus more of capable men were required to be recruited as soldiers and officers)When Claudius became the emperor, he felt that married men were more emotionally attached to their families, and thus, will not make good soldiers. So to assure quality soldiers, he banned marriage.

Valentine, a bishop , seeing the trauma of young lovers, met them in a secret place, and joined them in the sacrament of matrimony. Claudius learned of this "friend of lovers," and had him arrested. The emperor, impressed with the young priest's dignity and conviction, attempted to convert him to the roman gods, to save him from certain execution. Valentine refused to recognize Roman Gods and even attempted to convert the emperor, knowing the consequences fully.

On February 24, 270, Valentine was executed, but not before, while in prison awaiting his fate, he came in contact with his jailor, Asterius.It seems Asterius had a blind daughter and requested Valentine heal his daughter. Through his faith he miraculously restored the sight of Asterius' daughter.Just before his execution, he asked for a pen and paper from his jailor, and signed a farewell message to her "From Your Valentine," a phrase that lived ever after.Valentine thus became a Patron Saint, and the spiritual overseer of an annual festival. The festival involved young Romans offering women they admired, and wished to court, handwritten greetings of affection on February 14. The greeting cards contained St. Valentine's name.
And now you know… the rest. Of. The story.Still hungry for more? How about... Kemp’s Top Ten Valentine’s Day/Romantic Movies:
- Casablanca
- Pride & Prejudice
- The Philadelphia Story
- Reality Bites
- Before Sunrise
- Amelie
- Chasing Amy
- It Happened One Night
- Say Anything
- The Princess Bride

Still hungry for more Valentine's Day-related madness? Ok. Here’s... How to say “I love you” in other languages.

In Danish – “Jeg elsker dig”
In Dutch -- "Ik hou van jou"
In Esperanto -- "Mi amas vin"
In French -- "Je t'aime"
In German -- "Ich liebe Dich"
In Indonesian -- "Saya cinta kamu"
In Italian -- "Ti amo"
In Japanese -- "Aishite imasu"
In Latin -- "Te amo"
In Mandarin Chinese -- "Wo ai ni"
In Polish -- "Kocham cie"
In Romanian -- "Te iu besc"
In Russian -- "Ya vas liubliu" (which you would know if you’ve ever watched “The Great Escape”)
In Spanish -- "Te amo" (Wait, or is that how you say it in Italian?)
In Swedish -- "Jag alskar dig"
In Turkish -- "Seni seviyorum"

Now you want some Quotes about Love, don’t ya?
“Love is the delightful interval between meeting a girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.” - John Barrymore
“I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.” - Henry Ward Beecher
“Love is a power too strong to be overcome by anything but flight.” - Miguel de Cervantes

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” - Robert Frost

“In love there are two things: bodies and words.” - Joyce Carol Oates

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.” - Peter Ustinov

Sunday, February 10, 2008

A Living Legend

Last night Honey Mustard and I went to a concert...

Who did we see?

None other than The King himself...

Mr. B.B. King...

At 82 years of age, the man can STILL grind that axe...

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

It's a moral imperative*

If you live in one of the plethora of states holding a primary today, remember, regardless of political affiliation, to get out and


*Know what movie this is from??