Wednesday, September 21, 2005

New Feature...Applaud & Heckle

New feature today in Kemp’s Blog, hope you like it.

It’s called Applaud and Heckle, where each day (or each other day, or a few times a week, or a few times a month – heck, whenever I need filler for the blog), I will dole out things that we as a nation should show our appreciation for and things that we as a nation should say ‘Tsk Tsk Tsk’ to…

My entry about being home alone with my children is still a work in progress.

And awaaayyyyy weeeee goooooo….

Applaud: to Nazi Hunter extraordinaire Simon Wiesenthal. While we mourn your death, we celebrate your life and the differences you made in it. May your memory, legacy and hunt live on forever…

Heckle: George W. Bush…just on general principles alone…

Applaud: Bill Clinton. For doing the absolute most (interviews, visits, listening) an ex-President can do to help the Katrina victims. (Some of you are probably asking, what about Bush Sr.? He has been rather quiet and hidden the last week and a half; I think he may be trying to keep Barbara out of the view and earshot of the press, should she stick her foot in her mouth again…which would be a pretty safe bet…)

Heckle: FEMA…again…(are you really that surprised???) Truck drivers are getting paid by FEMA to drive truckloads of ice from the Midwest, down to the Deep South...and up to Maine. WHY? Because of (wait for it – contain your shock please) mismanagement. Cost of this runaround: $800 of your tax dollars per day.

Applaud: the St. Louis Cardinals for winning the National League Central Division. Go Redbirds!

Heckle: the Chicago Cubs. Again, on general principles alone. Plus the fact they suck.

Applaud (or should it be heckle? It’s your call): the Bush(league) Administration for touting their readiness for Hurricane Rita. (Of course they’re ready, it’s heading for Bush’s beloved state of Texas. Think about it. It Rita hits Texas, Bush will want to go down ASAP and some people will ask why is he going down right away when he waited to go to N.O. and Biloxi. But if he waits to go down, people will say “Wow he really is that stupid.”)

Heckle: to Mother Nature for giving the country another powerful hurricane. Come on Mother, we only have 4 more names left for the season…or we will have to go to Greek names. Hurricane Alpha, just doesn’t sound right…

Applaud: the Sacramento Monarchs (who??) on winning their first WNBA (who??) title…

Heckle: to the fact that it takes something like a devastating hurricane to bring out the (what is supposed to be instinctive) journalistic senses of today’s press and media…

Applaud: the NFL for raising $5 million for Katrina relief during the Monday Night Football doubleheader telethon…every little bit, or even larger ones, helps…

Heckle: oil producers for pumping up the price of oil because Rita was entering the Gulf. Any price-increase excuse in a storm…

Applaud: the FDA for allowing breast implants, with some conditions…though those conditions were not detailed by the agency…I would have to guess that one condition would be to not implode on the wearer…though I could be wrong about that. Why is this an applaud? Two words: Pamela Anderson

Heckle: this column for being thoroughly unoriginal for doing a cheer and jeers type column…

Applaud: Kemp for having the moral turpitude to still do an entry like this even though every other blog has one like it…when in Rome.

And one final Applaud to the makers of the "Girls Gone Wild" videos. The video makers, known for filming “movies” showing women flashing their breasts (is this a great country or what?) plan to donate 100 percent of the proceeds from the sale of their Mardi Gras-themed DVDs and videos to the Red Cross to help Katrina victims. While the product may not be classy, the act sure is.

1 comments:

kickback rlx said...

Nice addition. Came onto your blog a few weeks ago while blog-hopping. Been reading it almost daily.