Thursday, February 09, 2006

Kemp's Movie Quote Challenge

I told him he started something… but I don’t think he believed me.

Yesterday, Mr. Big Dubya opined about being home alone with Little Dub. Within the post he mentioned the movie “Real Genius” which, naturally, got me off on a Real Genius quote-spurt. Then MetroDad joined in and it was anarchy... chaos… “human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.” (Damn it, there I go again…)

Ya see; I have the uncanny ability to remember quotes and inane trivia from movies and TV shows… I don’t know why, I just do. Maybe when I was younger a television set or a movie projector fell on top of me and transferred some of its television/movie power to me… wow, that sentence sounded so much better in my head than it looks…

Simple game… I give a quote and a year and a hint, and someone leaves me a comment as to which movie it is.

  1. “Hey, Hoops, you ever notice how people die in alphabetical order?” – 1986 (Three words: Savage Steve Holland)
  2. “I know you want to work for Mo Fuzz. And Mo Fuzz wants you to. But first, I'm going to need to you do something for me... on spec.” – 1988. (A small, independent film from a producer who at one time had a successful music career)
  3. “Goddamn it, I knew I should've listened to my mother. I could've been a cosmetic surgeon, five hundred thou a year, up to my neck in tits and ass.” – 1984 (Originally, Sylvester Stallone and Christopher Reeve were up for the lead male role)
  4. “Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada.” – 1984 (Wil Wheaton filmed scenes for this movie which were cut, yet his name still appears in the end credits)
  5. “And grab some toilet paper; I ain't gonna use no leaves.” – 1984 (A message to the resistance, ‘John has a long mustache’, is the same message the French resistance gets in one of the best war movies ever made; “The Longest Day”)
  6. “First learn stand, then learn fly.” – 1984 (Clint Eastwood’s son Kyle auditioned for the lead role but didn’t get it)
  7. “Excuse me, we're from Noisebusters. Do you know where the Menudo concert is?” – 1986 (Movie starring a current Presidential candidate who is also a former Senator from Alderan and a LA Attorney, a former Lieutenant of Tony Soprano and a tap dancer)
  8. “Oh my God, the quarterback is toast.” – 1988 (A ballet dancer playing a terrorist? Say what?)
  9. “Gimme a call whenever you wanna cut off my head. I can always crawl around without it.” – 1984 (First movie from a duo of brothers specializing in dark comedy and crime)
  10. “Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork. Where would we be if we didn't follow the correct procedures?” – 1985 (movie gem from a former animator)
  11. “Get away from her, you bitch!” – 1986 (Sci-Fi movie co-starring a former lynchpin of NBC’s comedy lineup)
  12. “Are there no gods, no Buddha? If you exist, hear me. You are mischievous and cruel! Are you so bored up there you must crush us like ants? Is it such fun to see men weep?” – 1985 (A story that was partially inspired by Shakespeare's "King Lear" but at the same time also draws on samurai legends as well)
  13. “Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?” – 1980 (Should be easy, but here’s a hint anyway; David Letterman did a screen test for the lead male role)


MetroDad said...

"Scoop of vanilla, scoop of chocolate. Don't waste my time!" (Call the movie, Kemp!)

Actually, your test was tough. I think I got about half of them. Anyway, I share your ability to remember dumb movie quotes. Ever wonder why women don't do this? I drive my wife nuts with my movie quotes.

Last year, I was at a bachelor party in Chicago. I'm not familiar with Chicago at all. At one point, I was drunk out of my skull and I looked up to see a sign that said, "Racine St" I immediately called my wife and screamed,"I'm on Racine Street. I'm going to go find 1634 Racine. How cool is that?" Of course, she thought I was nuts and basically hung up on me.

I then called my best friend Drew and yelled, "I'm in Chicago. On Racine Street. Does that mean anything to you?" He was as excited as I was and yelled back, "Awesome! Untouchables. The street where Sean Connery got whacked! Go see if there really is a 1634 Racine!"

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.

Kemp said...

City Slickers. Barry Shalowitz, portrayed by Josh Mostel who is the 'z'on of Zero Mostel...

Sad isnt it that I even knew the character, actor and inane trivia about the actor...

It's a sickness. Like you I annoy the HELL out of my wife with my movie and tv quotes.

Ive done the 1634 Racine thing as well... so you are NOT the only one.

CroutonBoy said...

Ah dude, I just noticed my comments from your post Super Bowl entries didn't take (thanks, Blogger!) But this...this is a beautiful post.

I think I've got at least 3/4 of these so far, but there's a couple I'll have to think about. Here's a couple for you:

"You know, if you stuck to your 12-point maintenance plan we wouldn't have to jump-start you like this."

"Dispatch war robot 'Ajax' to bring back his body"

"I'm only trying to take a nap! I'm only laying here with my eyes closed trying to get some goddamn sleep!"

I wonder if this is a y-chromosome thing, like hunting...

peachblossom said...

I, who thought I knew a lot of quotes of movies knows only one or two from Kemp's...4. The Last Starfighter...xcellent movie and I own it and possibly 6. Karate Kid?

Croutonboy's the one about a nap is from, I think, the burbs... which is also an excellent movie for which I own.

Good movie quotes, I guess I don't watch the right stuff to know the rest of them. I also know of a gentleman, co-author of your other blog, who has the ability to drive me nuts with interesting trivia. I think you guys do it to keep us guessing and on our toes. We never know what you will say or do next. I personally prefer it and I bet your other loved ones do, too.

Keep up the good work.

Kemp said...


You may have be stumped for #1, but let me think about it and I'll let you know when I post after the pb and the j's nap.

#2-Flash Gordon. Gotta love any movie that can star a former Fiddler on the Roof AND a future James Bond.

#3-The Burbs. One of Hanks' underrated gems like "Volunteers" Two very funny movies...

I'll let you know on #1.

Mr Big Dubya said...

Oh - this is fun. 7 for 10 on the front side - "Ran"? Never seen that.

So- let me jump into the fray here:

"How would you feel if you'd been dead a day and a half and someone brought your more bad news?"

"There's fuckin' room to move as a fry cook. I could be manager in two years. King. God.

"You smoke more than a pack today and I'll skin you. Understood?"

Kemp said...

Dubya, I can honestly recommend anything by Kurosawa. The man was rightfully called a genius.

Crouton, I am still stuck on # 1, but am not yet giving up. I have an idea, but need to talk to my quote adviser...

Ok Dubya, #1 is a flashback... Freejack with Emilio Estevez, Renee Russo (I think) and Mick Jagger.

#2 is Repo Man. Fantastic film with Estevez again (I sense a theme) and Harry Dean Stanton

#3 is The Outsiders with (surprise, surprise) Estevez again and Cruise, Dillon, yada yada yada...

I have an extra one. "He's very clean."

Kemp said...

Tricky Crouton... very tricky. # 1 is from a newer movie that, quite frankly, I don't think many (if any) saw...

I will admit I had to go to someone else for this one (not so for the others, I knew them in my head... I told ya, scary right?) THis one I had to look into...

It's from Bloodrayne.

I have to ask... did you see this picture?

John said...

Wow, and I thougth I was a storehouse of useless knowledge...I bow before the master!

CroutonBoy said...


Buddy, #1 was from Strange Brew! One of the greatest movies of all time! The same movie that gave us "The power of the Force stopped you, you hosers" and "If I didn't have puke breath...I'd kiss you"

Bloodrayne...didn't see it. Is it still out? That's going to be one of those late night HBO ones that I'll be watching solo, along with Doom and Resident Evil...

And who quotes Freejack???

One final one...probably easy for this crowd: "Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips!"

Mr Big Dubya said...

I'm sorry - I was watching Mission Impossible and was having an Emilio Estevez moment - it'll never happen again.

Quoting Blues Brothers is like eating for guys - just something that has to be done - much like saying "Be the ball, Danny" or "Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir, and I never slice!"