Monday, May 08, 2006

A day, and night, apart

I am nervous today… and a little sad.

The Peanut Butter is having an EEG today (as part of a second opinion) to see why she has developed a “seizure disorder.” (She has had 4 seizures in the past, 3 of which were febrile, meaning they were due to an incredibly high fever, the 4th was not)

She is staying overnight at Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago with Honey Mustard and I am at-home with The Jelly.

I am nervous because I am hoping that this test will show something that was missed the last time she had this done (which took place at home) and may help with the treatment of the disorder.

I am sad because I won’t see HoMu and The Peanut Butter for 2 days.

But I am sadder more so because of The Jelly. While putting them to bed last night, The J started to cry because we were packing a bag for HoMu and The PB. She didn’t want her sister to leave without her, she wanted to go too, and at (almost) four years of age…she can’t really comprehend why she can’t go along.

It took a while, but we got The J settled down, and they both fell to sleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow.

This morning, things were quiet.

At least until HoMu and The PB were ready to leave.

That’s when The PB gave The J a hug goodbye… and that’s when The J lost it and started sobbing (not a whimper mind you, but one of those break-parent’s-hearts type of cry) her eyes out.

This of course started The PB crying… which in turn started HoMu crying.

All three of them… in the family room…crying…

And there’s me… standing there, attempting to be the strong, father/husband type and not cry…

They left, and The J settled down. I then dropped off The J to preschool and she held onto my hand tight and refused to let go (which she has NEVER done before… but, of course, her sister is always with her)

She finally released my hand from her death grip (I’ll never blog again… oh wait…) when she saw her favorite teacher come in… and then one of her friends. At that point it was like… ‘Daddy? Daddy who?’

I have a few questions here; would I be a total wimp-ass if I did cry when the three of them were crying?

Why don’t children come with protective coverings and virus-protection? Like a computer…

Does it count if I were to cry in my car when no one is around?

How can I get my sheets their whitest?

UPDATE: I spoke with The PB earlier on the phone, and the first question out of her
mouth was "How's sissy?' The connection they have with each other is incredible.


Jill said...

I hope everything goes ok! I remember when my younger daughter (who has a twin brother) had eye surgery. You just cant describe the feeling. God Bless...

MetroDad said...

The mental image of PB and he Jelly hugging each other while crying practically had ME in tears! Hope everything works out for the best, Kemp. Prayers are with you.

Scott said...

Hey Buddy, dad's are human too. We also have the right to cry. But we tend to hold it together.

We have a habit of wanting to be the 'rock' in the stream of emotional turmoil. Not to appear tough, but to hold it together when everyone else is losing it.

If you don't let lose at times, it bottles up and may come out in other ways. I tend to do most of mine in the car or late at night when everyone else is asleep.

Hang in there. Everyone will be back together before you know it. I am here if you need to talk.

CroutonBoy said...

Hey buddy, I feel for you. Personally, I'd have been sobbing my eyes out, and hearing your tale actually gave me a pang of sadness, too. I hope all turns out well and that PB & Jelly are soon reunited.

Mr Big Dubya said...

I don't know what's happened to me since Little Dub arrived, but I become a blithering, sobbing mess at the slightest tug on my heart strings. Used to be none of this stuff fazed me in the least (sidenote: I watched Pet Sematary too many times and always commented, "There goes Gage...knocked right out of his Keds.") But now...yep, I spend my life misty-eyed.

Ok - sharing waaaayyy too much - hope everything turns out ok for PB - I'll be thinking good thoughts for you all.

Gotta go now - I have something in my eye.

Amy said...

Hell, *I'm* crying, and I don't even know them. Go ahead, we won't tell.

I hope you get the answers you are looking for from the tests.