Friday, July 21, 2006

The anticipation is building...

In anticipation of throwing myself over the cliff with the rest of the lemmings (like e v e r y o n e else has) and naming my Top 100 Albums list, I thought I would regale you all with my bottom...

...

My bottom as in my bottom albums list… sheesh, must is always be sex with you people?

These are albums that didn’t even get included in the original 520 base point I started with, and not by coincidence, aren’t even on my iPod.

Though I am curious as to why we still have these craptacular discs in our CD rack… maybe I wanted to save them for The Peanut Butter and The Jelly so they can see how odd Daddy and Mommy used to be.

  • Debbie… sorry, DeborahGibson: “Electric Youth.” When I was 14 she was hot as hell and I wanted her. Now… well, now I’m married, but after seeing her spread from Playboy, she is still be on my “celebrity-do” list… her music… not so much. Though I have tto say she’s still better than Tiffany. According to her website, she’s released a duet with Jordan Knight, he of NKOTB (who I can happily say is a group that I have NO albums by). There are so many smart ass comments whirling about my head right now, I can’t pick just one…
  • Garth Brooks: “In Pieces” “No Fences” “The Chase” – I liked him at first. Then his ego got bigger than his talent… then he released that annoying and self-satisfying ‘Chris Gaines’ piece of crap and I lost all respect for him as a singer/musician. Now he’s thrown himself into a pact with the Devil, and by devil I mean Wal-Mart. What a dumb ass.
  • Celine Dion: “Celine Dion” – why did I buy this album? Oh, right, my girlfriend at the time liked her, and I liked the girlfriend, so I tortured myself and bought this piece of musical claptrap. She is to music, what Six Habits of Highly Effective People is to books; a complete and total disaster. I wouldn’t think it possible, but she both sucks and blows.
  • Color Me Badd: “CMB” – Again… what the HELL was I thinking?? It’s entirely possible I bought this in college after a night of heavy drinking… at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it… And just so you know, according to Amazon, they have a ‘Greatest Hits’ album. Oddly enough, most of the songs on the hits album are on CMB… so one has to ask oneself; what’s the point?
  • Damn Yankees: “Damn Yankees” – Nothing worse than a pop-bubblegum rock “supergroup” that thinks they’re heavy metal. This one was a lapse in judegement. I liked the album at one time I think. But it was high school and I’ve pretty much suppressed those four years…
  • Mariah Carey: “Mariah Carey” – Again, what the HELL was I thinking. This was released the summer of 1990 after I just finished my junior year in high school (suppression!). So, it’s entirely possible I bought this album because of my girlfriend at the time. A girlfriend who turned out to be, like Mariah, crazy as a fuc**** loon…
  • EMF: “Schubert Dip” – Yeah… I think I bought this one for one song; “Unbelievable” and that’s it. I probably listened to that song a few dozen times and nothing else (who knows why) then… poof! The song vanished from my conscience and the album stayed in the rack. This CD was in our ‘spare rack’ where we put any double albums that HoMu and I each had when we got married. What made me remember this song and album? The music is being used to shill Kraft Cheese Crumbles with the phrase; '”They're CRUMBelieveable” Sad… just sad…
  • “Titantic” Soundtrack. This one just makes me ashamed… I think a friend bought it and somehow it got ensnared into my collection. However it came into my possession… I’m sorry... I’m truly, truly sorry…

That’s it, that’s the bottom of my list. I will start posting my Top 100 tomorrow or Monday.

4 comments:

Brenda said...

That's one bad list, Kemp. But if you think having an EMF CD is bad, I actually went to see them. And, like you, all I remember is that song.

Crumbelievable.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I think they have services that will come remove the Mariah Carey and Celine Dion CD's for money - you know, so you don't have to actually touch them.

croutonboy said...

That's like the bad album hall of fame, my friend. I think everyone had EMF for a while, so I wouldn't stress about that, but I may never forgive you for Celine Dion...that's just wrong on so many levels...

Kemp said...

I know... I know C-boy. I am truly ashamed of that one... but not as ashamed as the Titanic soundtrack.

Sarah, I need a phone number. I can't touch them... I'll... wanna listen to them again, wouldnt I?

Brenda wins though; who knew EMF actually had concerts...