Thursday, September 28, 2006

It Begins

I know it was inevitable, I just didn’t think it would be this soon.

Pop quiz; what do candy bars, popcorn, wrapping paper, books and pizzas all have in common?

You give up?

They’re all things that kids are forced asked to sell while they are in school.

You can see what’s coming next, right?

They’re only four (and ½) years old, but The Peanut Butter and The Jelly have already started a ritual that every student in the United States has to endure for years & years and years & years…

That’s right, The PB & The J are selling stuff for their school.

Four years old… in preschool… and they’re selling stuff.

Well, not them so much as Honey Mustard and I.

They are selling popcorn… and not just any popcorn my friend; “Gourmet” popcorn (which in layman’s terms means small amounts of “relatively expensive” popcorn) There’s no normal buttered corn here, no sirree bob… this popcorn has flavors like Macadamia Crunch, Chicago Style, Chocolate-drizzled Carmel Corn, White Cheddar cheesecorn, Cookies and Cream and Rainbow (green apple, cheery, peach and two other flavors that have NO right being anywhere near a kernel of corn)

The girls did a good job of asking people if they wanted to buy popcorn (as good as any four-year old could), but let’s face it – when kids are this young and are assigned to sell something, the schools are expecting the parents to do it.

I remember selling stuff in grade school, junior high and high school… but not preschool.

Candy bars that were small and pricey (never mind that you could get essentially the same thing in the story for half that amount), pizzas that tasted like ass, popcorn that never fully popped, tins of popcorn that had probably been sitting around since the Eisenhower administration, wrapping paper that was ugly and magazines that no-one ever wanted to read… ever…

The strangest thing I ever sold? Poinsettias. Not for a garden club or anything, but for the speech/debate team in my high school.

My questions to you, dear readers and blogmigos, what age do you remember starting in on this grand tradition and what was the strangest thing you remember selling?

Inquiring minds want to know...


Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

One time I sold airline tickets, but that was a regular job.

The strangest thing I ever sold for school?

Spirit ribbons?

Lance said...

We had to sell Ghiradelli chocolate bars in Junior High to go on some trip that I don't even remember going on. All I remember is my friends and I ate most of the bars and we had to hit up our parents to pay for them. Whoops. I never was good at selling.

Gidge said...

I once WON a giant Sugar Daddy. For selling something, magazines. No shit I actually went DOOR TO DOOR as a little kid for SCHOOL doing this crap. Can you imagine allowing that now?
But remember Sugar Daddy, those stiff caramel candy things on a stick. I won one that bigger than my head. My mom froze it and I would break off pieces with a hammer all summer was bizarre.

Becky said...

High school. Magazines. To pay for prom.

Kara said...

When Maggie went to catholic school(for one year, but it felt like an eternity) she sold wrapping paper and was convinced that she was going to win the ipod shuffle that was to go to the hughest seller. There were parental guilt-based expectations galore...we were nickled and dimed at every turn. I would have prefered to drop the extra grand on tuition and call it a day (that's what I'm guessing the extras added up to what all was said and done). Now she's at another school (private, not catholic) where the price of tuition is obscene, BUT! no selling of any kind. And that, my friend, is totally worth it.

I'm begging for money now for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. Got a few bucks?

Amy said...

Can't remember what I sold in elementary school, but I won a bike--my dad must have been a good salesman.

foxgrandma said...

Junior in high school to pay for the prom we put on for the seniors.