Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Regression

I have a temper… always have. I could easily chalk it up to my Spanish heritage and the infamous Spanish-temper… but that’s a cop-out.

I have never struck anyone in anger… not my wife or kids, nor my friends and family. My temper is not like that, it manifests itself in a much more childish manner…

A blow-up.

My temper is the precise reason I took up Tai Chi and meditation in college… because my temper had gotten the better of me one too many times and I needed to, for lack of a better term, channel it.

And it worked… granted, I still get upset (who doesn’t)… but I don’t have the blow-ups that I used to.

Until yesterday.

I had an adjunct faculty meeting last night and when I got home I noticed right away that Honey Mustard was upset… no details here, just that she was upset and it involved a couple of my in-laws.

I ended up calling the in-laws myself and had an abrupt conversation that ended in me throwing the cord-less phone across the room and slamming the door.

No one witnessed this, The PB & The J who were playing downstairs and HoMu was putting the dog out… it was just me being incredibly stupid and childish. And now I feel ashamed, upset disappointed that I lost my cool and blew up and thought that ‘airing it out’ on the blog would help.

It’s not…

3 comments:

SaraPMcC said...

I think we all do stuff when we're angry that we're embarrassed about later. And it may not seem like it helps now, but it does help to share it (who do I sound like now?).

Anyway, I'm also thinking about a time when I was angry a few months ago, I slammed some doors, and I was a bit embarrassed afterward. But you know what? Slamming doors (and throwing an inanimate object like the phone for that matter) is better than taking it out on someone who doesn't deserve it. So it's OK.

Becky said...

Hey, you're human.

samantha Jo Campen said...

It's better than having a heart attack from bottled-up stress.