Wednesday, August 30, 2006

To separate or not to separate; that is the question

Go ahead, research it… talk to other parent’s of twins… read the book…

You’ll find the same opinions Honey Mustard and I did… opinions that are split down the middle of which of the two options is better.

I’m speaking of separating twins in school.

I bring this up because a
few people have asked if the decision to separate The Peanut Butter & The Jelly in school was HoMu’s and mine. They also wanted to know how we came to arrive at that decision.

It was a mutual decision, and it was ours solely.

After talking to other parents and researching, it was the behavior of our children that prompted us to divide and conquer and split them up.

The reason?

The J tends to speak for, and over, The PB, so we decided that having them in different classes would benefit both of them… and after three days – it has. The PB is speaking more and getting involved in class, as is The J.

The school district here (the one where I was almost chosen to be on the school board), does not have a strict policy regarding twins in the classroom and leave that decision to the parents.

I’m not going to say this it the best option for everyone and would suggest you do your own research and talk to other parents (and I can almost guarantee that the opinions you get will be the same as my wife and I encountered, split right down the middle)

My best advice on this decision, and please remember this is only my opinion - I’m not an expert, is that you gauge your children’s attitudes and behavior and use that as the barometer for making the decision.

Will their separation be the way it is for their entire school careers? Doubtful, but it’s hard to tell at this moment, but for now, it’s working out very well.


But stay tuned…

8 comments:

SaraPMcC said...

Very interesting; thank you for sharing that. Like I had said before, my parents did the same thing; they decided to split my sister and me up when we started kindergarten, but then they couldn't do anything about it after that, with the school deciding we'd benefit from being in the same class (not from each other, but because they tracked kids then based on reading levels and such). However, I think it did us some good the first year that we were separated. You get compared enough that it's nice to have that space for yourself in which to grow and become your own person.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

This question always fascinates me.

My kids are only two, so when they start preschool in a few weeks Gabe and I decided to put them in the same class. Right now I am leaning toward splitting them up sometime between their 4 year preschool class and 1st grade. I think that twins need to learn to be individuals. I'm just not sure when.

Hell - I'm not even sure when I am going to give them their own rooms. I guess I'm waiting for them to ask. I'm not sure I'm ready to give up the computer room yet.

Brenda said...

Thanks for sharing your reasoning for the split -- I'm always interested in that issue too. Sounds like you made the right decision. When it's time for ours to go to school I hope there's some indication like with your girls to help in our decision. It's probably a little different with boy/girl twins too. I have a little time for research though.

Devra said...

At my son's preschool there was a set of twins and they were in different classes. One of the twins was in the same class as my son and so I got to know the parents well. When the birthday invite arrived, I noticed that only one twin was named as the honoree. When I called to RSVP they told me they have two parties, two sets of invites and they rotate the date every year so one twin has the b-day party on or close to their real birthday and the other has it a week or so later. The parents said that they felt this made sense to them because if their children had not been sharing a womb at the same time and had been siblings in the other fashion, like one being born a year later than the other, they would have had separate parties, etc. Believe me, I am NOT saying it is better or worse because I don't have twins and would never tell anyone how to parent them even if I did, just passing along a tale of "It worked for them" as an FYI piece. : )

Ryan said...

I am really screwed up because I was separated from my twin brother during school. :) Just kidding.

My twin and I were always separated in all the schools we went to, with the exception of having one English class together in Junior High School (not sure why that happened). It was nice to have space to think and relate on my own, and most importantly, to avoid being constantly compared within the context of the classroom.

Kemp said...

I doubt that this is the end-all, end-all of this decision. When they get older, they may choose to be in the same class... or not.

This is what worked for me...

And Ryan, I'm glad I was able to get a positive response from an "older" twin. Thanks...

John said...

Another tale of "It worked for them" from a neighbor of mine years ago...He was an elementary school teacher and an identical twin. He said that he and his twin were SO dependent on each other that they couldn't do anything on their own. They did so poorly together that they split them and had them repeat the 1st (or was it 2nd?) grade to re-learn what they wouldn't learn well together.

Stacy said...

Timely...

We just decided to separate our twins in preschool this fall. They're only 2.5, but one (the girl) is already bossing the boy around all the time. His only word seems to be a cross no...

I'm glad I'm not the only one!