You tell me...

Is it wrong that I feel emasculated jealous that my parents got Honey Mustard the 80 gb iPod for Christmas... which makes my 60 gb feel inadequate small?

Granted, they got me one of THESE... but still... her iPod has 20 more gigs than mine does...

I am jealous... is that wrong?

A Message of the Season

From Me, Honey Mustard, The Peanut Butter and The Jelly:

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!

A Soul-Cleansing Post or A Very Special Episode

Some of you may have noticed that I have been lax in posting the last few months… the truth of the matter is, I’ve been lax in everything for the last few months as I’ve battled through a deep-blue depression funk depression.

A variety of factors influenced these feelings… but the driving force/factor was my job and career... or rather, the lack thereof.

Something happened within me and I’ve turned a corner this past week. I don’t know what it was, but something has changed within me and I’m moving with purpose and aim now rather than wallowing in self-pity and loathsomeness...

If I knew what (or who) happened that rocketed me to this point, I would tell you

(Actually, I would first patent it, market it, make a killing at it, then tell all of you about it...)

All I know is I’m not in a funk anymore... I’m excited about my job, excited about a few job-prospects, and looking forward to a new year.

But the more I think about it... the more I slowly start to realize what happened that helped start me down this road.

It’s been a hard year for me, but then I realized that it hasn’t been anywhere as hard on me as it has for one particular cousin of mine.

In October, she lost her husband in a horrific traffic accident. This past week she lost her older brother (who was under the age of 50) to cancer.

Suddenly... all the problems I had been worrying/complaining about seemed insignificant in comparison… and in talking to my family this past week... I realized that.

Sure, I don’t have a perfect job that pays me what I’m (ahem) worth... but I have a job, I’m healthy, and I have a beautiful and loving wife, two beautiful and loving daughters, my parents, my older brother and an extended family that consists of four Aunts, two Uncles, a plethora of 1st, 2nd and 3rd cousins, two nieces, four nephews and a surfeit of in-laws...

I’m lucky... I’m blessed... I’m happy...

... and I’m back.

About friggin’ time huh?

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon

It’s back… it’s bad… it’s totally rad…

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon…

• Did we really need an actual study to determine that couples have pre-marital sex?? In other news: the sky is blue, water is wet…
• 5 days to go… and The PB & The J can barely stand it…
• Can you guess what band has a new album coming out in March? Guns N’Roses. Follow-up question: will anyone care?
• How many of you saw the Christmas episode of “Studio 60?” If you liked the musician’s version of ‘O Holy Night’, you can download it for free on NBC.com… it’s worth it.
• Open question to the Chicago Cubs… $23 million for Jason Marquis? Really??
• Newest Hollywood couple: Christian Slater & Sharon Stone. What can be said besides; ‘Eeeeeewwwwww…’
• Last year The PB & The J had to watch ‘A Christmas Story’ once a day… this year? “The Polar Express”. I can’t decide which is worse…
• Best Fark headline of the day: “In the latest cunning plan to unseat Ted Kennedy, bill seeks to ban trans fats from Massachusetts”
• Tom Cruise has announced he’s gonna make a movie based on a novel by scientologist founder L. Ron Hubbard… cuz earlier attempts to do that did oh so well…
• 1/20/2009…hee hee hee hee
• A few phrases that got people to my small, insignificant corner of the blogosphere: “disney princess electric roadster”, “weekend at bernie's a guilty pleasure”, “word escape me” (coming from Japan’s Google), “placebo”, “kemp” (coming from New Zealand’s Google), “"donte stallworth parents” (only result for that inquiry)…
• Today’s superfluous, blatant attempt to draw people to my small, insig— you get the idea… “super pants”
• Today’s gratuitous and spontaneous blog plug is: Back to Me
• Today’s mental iPod Song of the Day: Christmas is coming, so it’s a Christmas song… “Elf’s Lament” by Barenaked Ladies featuring Michael Bublé.

I'm a man of reason, and they say "'Tis the season to be jolly"

But it's folly when you volley for position

Never in existence has there been such a resistance

To ideas meant to free us

If you could see us, then you'd listen

Toiling through the ages, making toys on garnished wages

There's no union

We're only through when we outdo the competition

I make toys, but I've got aspirations

Make some noise

Use your imagination

Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for

There's a list for who's been

Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

A full indentured servitude can reflect on one's attitude

But that silly red hat just makes the fat man look outrageous

Absurd though it may seem, you know, I've heard there's even been illegal doping

And though we're coping, I just hope it's not contagious

You try to start a movement, and you think you see improvement

But when thrown into the moment, we just don't seem so courageous

I make toys, but I've got aspirations

Make some noise

Use your imagination

Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for

There's a list for who's been

Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

You look at yourself

You're an elf

And the shelf is just filled with disappointing memories

Trends come and go, and your friends wanna know why you aren't just happy makingcrappy little gizmos

Every kid knows they'll just throw this stuff away

We're used to repetition, so we drew up a petition

We, the undersigned, feel undermined

Let's redefine "employment"

We know that we've got leverage, so we'll hand the fat man a beverage

And sit back while we attack the utter lack of our enjoyment

It may be tough to swallow, but our threats are far from hollow

He may thunder, but if he blunders, he may wonder where the toys went

I make toys, but I've got aspirations

Make some noise

Use your imagination

Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for

There's a list for who's been

Naughty or nice, but consider the price

Naughty or nice, but consider the price

Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf.

QUICK!

I’ve been very, very lax in posting lately, and for that I apologize… my life has been in a bit of flux lately, and, while it hasn’t totally leveled out yet, it’s getting there. And since Mr. Big Dubya posted my daughters picture on his mantel, I thought I better spruce the place up a bit before more people stop by…

I have a story to tell…it’s about sex… murder… and debauchery…

It really isn’t, but those three words should get me some interesting visitors via Google, don’t ya think?

Actually, it’s a quick post to say to you all: thanks for stoppng by. I’ll be funny and informative again soon… I have one post ready to go, but it’s on my laptop at work (the bastards took away my blog access at work so I can only work on this and my other blogs at home – let me rephrase that, I can only POST at work, I can still type posts up at work)

Have a good day, and for all of you visiting for the first time, check out my Top Ten Posts on the right… no, not there, lower… no, farther down… keep scrolling, keep scrolling… there ya go.

Also be sure to check out my ever-famous ‘100 Things’ post… also on the right.

Thanks again for stopping by.

Funny as hell!

This is an absolute hilarious mix of "Peanuts" and "Scrubs"...