Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon

After a sabbatical in the jungles of Peru, it is back… the return of Kemp’s Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon…

• + Yahoo news headline; Women More Thick-headed than Men. Ahh, snark overload, snark overload...


• + So sad Heath… so, so sad…


• + Though not quite as sad a commentary on people as the fact that the current number 2 search term on Google is Keith Ledger…


• + Matthew has a grudge, and rightfully so, towards Home Decorators stores and is telling the blogosphere “DO NOT SHOP AT HOME DECORATORS. Do not shop at the Home Decorators website: http://www.homedecorators.com/.” Done and done…


• + Thanks to everyone who expressed their kind wishes following the Friday post about my cousin Mary. The trial has started…


• + Proof that CNN is being run by morons; actual headline; “Sasquatchy image spotted in Mars picture” Sasquatchy… seriously???


• + With the writers on strike, we can count on an influx of reality programming this season. I think everyone can share my reaction to that news when I say; AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!


• + Recent search terms that have brought people to my corner of the blogoverse: “where is garth kemp”, “dennis hopper super bowl commercial”, “kemp’s blog”, “princess solstice ride on” (I assume they mean the car and NOT a porn movie of some kind), “ghosts, pemberton hall”, “big kids kemp” (Huh?), “Becky Kemp”, “poland mardi gras float”


• + Who the hell is Garth Kemp? And why should I care?

Random (Las Vegas) Thoughts for a Wednesday

A few random thoughts about our trip to Las Vegas.

• There is a lot of construction going on in Vegas right now. A LOT. It will be interesting to go back in, say, five years and see the city.
• The Flamingo is great. Bugsy would be proud…
• The Tropicana, celebrating its 50th anniversary this year, will be gone within five years. It’s not being maintained very well, the restaurants all looked like (and served) crap, the theaters are run-down and the casino itself was craptacular.
• Saw a lot of kids in Vegas. Can’t really understand why parents would bring kids to a place where the primary pastime is drinking and gambling…
• Flying over the mountains is beautiful… but I miss the days when pilots would tell you to look out the windows at see ‘such and such.’
• People are rude, more so than Disney World.
• 'The Strip' at night is amazing.
• If I see one more picture or video of Celine Dion gyrating, I’m gonna plotz.
• Terrific views of the city atop Paris’ Eiffel Tower.
• If they stopped handing out the hooker cards and booklets, or at the least recycled them, every forest in the world could be re-populated.
• The biggest-selling clothing line in Vegas (meaning I saw them in every store and on 90% of the people walking around) had “CSI” plastered on them… as if they couldn’t find those anywhere else.
• ATM fees around the city were $4.99. That’s not just outrageous, it’s obscene.
• Cab drivers in Vegas drive like Chicago cabbies, but they do their best to get you somewhere quickly…
• What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas... and stays OUT of the blog; Sorry Samantha.
• On the final shuttle to the airport, a woman got on and proceeded to have a very loud conversation on her cell phone the entire way to the airport… in French. She didn’t even stop when one of the other passengers asked her to or when I said a smart-ass comment about frogs legs…I know, I know – that was harsh.
• Two airline flights, two rough landings.
• Random Vegas Photo Time! This is a photo of one of the pools at The Flamingo with a very stylish and very retro feel.

Random Thoughts

Have some Random Thoughts:

• I’ve got a post up at The Blogfathers today…
• If I hear one more thing about ‘American Idol’, Rosie O’Donnel, Anna Nicole Smith, ‘Dancing with the Stars’, Heather “Yoko” Mills or Brittany Lohan… I’m gonna plotz…
• I blame MetroDad for hooking me on this game…
• The UK is considering a ‘blogger code of conduct…
• Researchers have discovered a “new kind of twin.”
• Road House 2??????
• One man complained to the FCC that Prince’s Super Bowl halftime show gave him erectile dysfunction. One woman complained to the FCC that she was worried that Prince’s Super Bowl Halftime Show would turn her son gay… insert your own smart-ass comment about stupid is as stupid does here…
• I’ve said it before, but I’m gonna say it again; Netflix rocks!!!
• This has to be one of the strangest headlines I’ve ever read, and it comes from the Chicago Tribune: “Mom's beef puts son's sperm count at stake”
• And for all of you that sent in your votes for when The PB would catch The J’s strep; knock on wood – it hasn’t happened yet.
• Now I’m worrying that HoMu or I will catch before we go to Vegas 2 weeks from today…
• Searches that have brought people here: “cpx2 blog”, “1st year with twins”, “bridget monyhan”, “huge tits blog” (they were probably massively disappointed when they clicked on my blog, don’t ya think?), “the crowd will always talk and stare”, “baby shower yolk chicago” (wait, what?), “mardi gras france soldiers war kill” (uh, what are things that surrender?), “helen mirren, armpit” (fetish much?), “how many diapers will twins use the first year” (not that many at all…), “doodlebops without makeup” (thanks again Sarah!), “doodlebops having it” (I really don’t think I want to know what ‘it’ is. Do you?)
• What are some of my blogmigos up to this week? Mr. Big Dubya had an interesting weekend… Queen of Spain wrote a letter to the TSA… ThePapaDog gives the inspiration for twin beds… Cape Buffalo is ‘L'homme at last’… Philosopher Dad learns the hard way about baby-proofing the house… and Dad2Twins comes to a realization about his place in the house
• Quote of the Week:

  “Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.” - George Bernard Shaw

Random Thoughts: Uber-quick version

• I’ve been taken into the family over at The Blogfathers… Someone must have told them all about my little maneuver at the battle of Taanab…
• I want one, I want one, I want one…nowwwwww
• Quick! What movie and what character?
• Carol Burnett needs to get a sense of humor…
• Seen on Fark. A 9-year old boy won a six-foot tall trophy for Best Mullet in Jacksonville… is it possible to suffer joke-overload? BTW, the link has, in the words of Fark, ‘pic goodness’…
• We had a surprise party last weekend for my FIL. He retired 2 weeks ago after 41 ½ years at Ford, broken up only by his tour in Vietnam. It was a total surprise… until my MIL decided to bring him in the back door at the pub and my FIL saw my parent’s red corvette with our last name on the license plate… oops…
• Since I can’t access blogs or even Bloglines at work, I’ve found a work-around that allows me to still read my favorite blogs… netvibes.com… very cool
• Another year, another Ides of March survived… whew…
• Tony praises the NCAA tournament… Sarah asks for someone to explain commercial air travel to her son… Mr. Big Dubya randomizes… Amy did a wedding meme...
• I can honestly say that I am very, very happy that Duke got bounced in the first round of the NCAA tourney…
• Search terms that have brought people to my corner of the blogosphere: “smoking like turks” (uh… okay…), “ruth kemp virgin” (uh… okay…), “adam morrison” (sheesh, make one joke about him crying like a girl and you get branded for life online…), “pictures of soledad obrian naked” (sweeeeet), “monoamniotic vaginally tampa” (no idea whatsoever what this is about), “skippy kemp”, “kemp”, “heroin overdose swollen testicles” (Gotta be a great story behind that search term, don’t ya think?

Random Thoughts

The following takes place between 9:00 am and 9:08 am…

• We all make fun of her (and deservedly so), but for the sake of her children, I hope Britney gets the help she needs… wait… wow, that was short-lived...
• Heather Mills (Paul McCartney’s soon-to-be ex-wife) will be a contestant on Dancing with the Stars this season… I’m not gonna say anything except this; better her than Yoko…
• Fark Headline of Mid-Week. “Two cities are battling over a federal trademark on the nickname 'Icebox of the Nation.' Submitter still holding out for his ex-wife's vagina.”
• Useless trivia time!!!! Did you know? That Oscar nominee Forest Whitaker was cast as the original Sawyer on “Lost” but dropped out of the show for the chance to direct a movie… a movie starring Katie Holmes called “First Daughter”?
• Ugh… last week on Random Thoughts I poked fun at a possible remake of “Weird Science”. The LA Times apparently didn’t read my post and register my disgust with remaking “classic” films from the ‘70’s and ‘80’s and has released a list of 1980’s movies whose time has come to be remade, meaning they want these movies to be remade. They include “Ghostbusters”, “Jaws” (obviously no one at the LA Times can do research as Jaws was released in 1975), “Airplane” and “Teen Wolf”… (Wait, what? Teen Wolf? Are you fuc**** kidding me?)
• AVClub.com has a list of 14 TV shows that deserve to be released to DVD… I’m a fan of most of them, but especially of “Its’ Garry Shandling’s Show”, one of the funniest shows from the 1980’s. The best line from IGSS’s entry; “Shandling hinted that a DVD release was in the cards, but to date, no official announcement has been made. Meanwhile, Full House has just issued its fifth boxed set.” Nicely put guys…
• They’re working on a movie version of “24”… I assume it won’t be 24-hours in length, but you never know. More useless trivia; the longest movie ever is The Cure for Insomnia which clocked in at a robust 85-hours long…
• Slate.com headline; “Is there a sex crisis on college campuses?” There wasn’t when I was going to college… but then again, I graduated from college in 1996… which makes me realize… I. Am. Old.
• Sarah answers your e-mails… Croutonboy is not a happy home-renovator… Mr. Big Dubya wants to see your tats (that’s tats with an ‘a’, not an ‘i’… Gidge teaches us all about Harvest Festivals of the Modern Age…Dad2Twins is going tropical… TheWhitedNews took some pictures of the Midwest blizzard from last week…
• Recent Search phrases that have brought people to my blog: “Bridget Monyhan” (though I’m sure if I added the word naked to that phrase, my hits would quadruple), “bob gibson statues” (they moved them both from old Busch to new Busch), “Mardi gras catholic perspective”, “doodlebops without makeup” (thanks Sarah!), “naked housewives” (thanks AGAIN Sarah!), “I want Penolope Cruz naked” (I’d be okay with that), “Ilan Mitchell Smith”, “donkeyporn” (I really, really REALLY do not even want to know about this one…), “has anyone died while eating King cake” (Elvis?)
• I liked Sarah’s mailbag post SOOOOO much, I’ve decided to do the same… but first, I need questions. So, if you have any questions, anything at all, send me an email or leave me a comment. Remember, I’m full of useless knowledge, so no subject is omitted…
• Quote of the Week:

  “A witty saying proves nothing.” - Voltaire

Random Thoughts

• Pitchers and catchers report this week for the defending WORLD SERIES CHAMPION ST. LOUIS CARDINALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hmmmmm, I can’t seem to remember whom they beat in the series? Anyone?? Queen, do you remember?
• Am I the only one who doesn’t buy Paula Abdul’s claims that she’s never been drunk?
• I’m signed-up for a lot of email alerts. Yesterday morning I got one from CNN. I see it pop up and I think, oh Christ, something’s happened. I open it up and read: “A judge has ruled Anna Nicole Smith’s body must stay at the medical examiner’s office until a dispute over her daughter’s paternity is resolved, but Smith’s body can be embalmed.” Are you fu***** kidding me??? You send a breaking news email to thousands of people about this??? Here’s a confidential note to the entire Fourth Estate: Get. A. Clue.
• Sarah has nominated me to become a “made man” with “The Blogfathers”. Thanks Sarah!! Would it be unsightly to actively campaign for it? Something along the lines of PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!!!!! Or does that come across as pathetic? How about bribing?Watched a good movie this past weekend; “Thank You for Smoking”. Biting satire, and worth the rental fee. Having said that, avoid “Clerks 2”… it’s nowhere near as good as the original.
• Remember how I told you all about the HUGE snowstorm that had hit the Midwest, and that no one knew about it because, well, it hit the Midwest? It’s reached the Northeast now so, naturally, it is now worthy of national media attention… all bow down to the MSM…
• A surfeit of meme’s is going around the blogosphere right now and so far I haven’t been tagged… I’m not sure how to feel about that…
• Proof that Hollywood has truly run out of ideas (just in case the looming remakes of Revenge of the Nerds or Police Academy hadn’t convinced you), there are plans in the works to remake “Weird Science”… probably cuz the original had such a huge impact on the acting career of Ilan Mitchell-Smith (who is now, in case you care, a professor at Texas A&M)
• Looking back at some of my blogmigo’s latest posts: MetroDad likes Valentine’s Day… Croutonboy, not so much… Becky’s head has exploded, again… Backtome is doing well… and Lumpyheads Mom has named her beautiful new daughter
• Winner of last week’s “Funniest phrase aimed at getting people to my blog via a google search” is Sarah from SATGS. Her winning phrase was: “hot naked lesbian housewives in diapers sucking big cock that look like Prince's guitar on Project Runway secrets during American Idol iPod Vista naked Paris Hilton on Myspace 2000 bloggers global warming without makeup homophobic Super Bowl ad XXX porn twins cum shot Dooce Today Show 9/11 sexy blonde sluts”… whew… that was a lot. What does Sarah win? A beer. I will buy her a beer next time I am in Washington DC or next time she is in Chicago, whichever comes first.
• Quote of the Week, which is my all-time favorite quotes:

  “There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.” George Bernard Shaw, from Man and Superman

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday

It’s Wednesday, we all know what than means. It’s time for some strong alcohol random thoughts… enjoy:

• While perusing for music online, I came across an entry that sent shivers down my spine… the title of the album was Bolton Swings Sinatra. Yes… Michael Bolton singing Frank Sinatra… is that even legal???
• Here’s something that no writer could make up on their best day. Astronaut (or maybe that should be astro‘nut’) Lisa Nowak strapped on a pair of adult diapers, threw her trusty BB gun in her car, switched her brain to the off position and drove 950 miles so she could settle a lover's quarrel. Seriously, you can’t make this shit up…
• Great poll on IMDB today: Who would win in a fight: Abigail Breslin or Dakota Fanning?
• I’ve never watched “24” before but have been this year and I can safely say I am hooked. Who knew that so much bad shit could happen to one person… and always in tidy 24-hour increments…
• Show of hands, who thought that this year’s Super Bowl commercials sucked worse than Rex Grossman?
• People really are getting upset about the whole Prince's guitar-as-schlong imagery from the halftime show… Can we get some lives over here in aisle 1!!??
• I honestly don’t know if I would be able to take a step onto THIS…
• I have recently “purchased” the new Norah Jones album (Not Too Late) and both of the new Harry Connick, Jr. albums (Oh, My NOLA & Chanson du Vieux Carre) and they are all very good albums. I highly advise getting them if you like either of these artists. Jones showcases her songwriting skills and her beautiful voice while Connick goes back to his jazz upbringing and has crafted two loving tributes to his hometown of New Orleans. Now comes part of the service you get here at Kemp’s House of Useless Knowledge as it’s useless trivia time: Norah Jones’ father is no other than The Beatles confidant and sitar master Ravi Shankar. Harry Connick’s mother was a judge and his father was an attorney who, in 1973, beat Jim Garrison for the position of Orleans Parish District Attorney (this would be the Jim Garrison that launched the investigation into Kennedy assassination) a position that he held for 29 years.
• Look back at some of my blogmigo’s latest posts: I think Queen of Spain’s head may explode if she has to follow doctor’s orders... MetroDad really digs his new kitchen toy... Croutonboy’s “parental units” came for a visit… like mine, they sometimes forget that you can get everyday household items, you know, everywhere... Sarah and the Goon Squad are sick...
• Recent searches that have brought people to my little corner of the blogosphere: “Disney princess solstice car”, “pictures of twins in the seventh week ultrasound”, “to kill a mockingbird affected my life”, “cuzzi murder”, “biography of lou brock”, “doodlebops without makeup” (thanks Sarah!!).
• Okay… the way people are getting to my blog via google searches is rather pathetic so I’m holding a contest. Whoever can leave me a comment with the funniest phrase aimed at getting people to my blog via a google search wins. Wins what? I haven’t decided yet… but I can promise you it will be, you know, fairly insignificant…
• Replacing Mental iPod Song of the Week is Quote of the Week:

  ”Common sense is not so common. - Voltaire

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon

• I think Super Bowl Media Day should be eliminated. Who’s with me?
• I think Paul McCartney’s ex and Brittany Spears’ ex should get together. Talk about a manipulative ‘don’t-know-when-their-15-minutes-are-up’ match made in ex-spouse heaven. Though if K-Fed’s music career fails and she has to be the breadwinner, she won’t have a leg to stand on… damn, there’s that poor taste coming out again…
• New Futurama movies/episodes are coming…
• Speaking of space…how the hell could NASA lose the videos of the 1969 moonwalk? Who’s in charge of security down there? President Bush Jessica Simpson?
• I’m getting my paperwork in under the wire, but everything looks to be coming together for me to make a run for City Alderman. I’ll let you know what happens.
• Fark Headline of the Week: “Dennis Hastert has swollen and enflamed gall bladder removed. Which is understandable, because it certainly takes a lot of gall to claim a president who lied about a BJ deserves impeachment while one who lies us into a war doesn't” (Couldn’t have said it any better myself…)
• I’m thinking that I am going to avoid purchasing or using Windows Vista, in fact I say to Microsoft and Vista: “Hasta la vista, Vista.” …
  

I’m sorry… I’m truly, truly sorry…

• Mariah Carey is going to appear in the March issue of Playboy… eeewwwwwww. Who’s next, Courtney Love?? Oh God why did I say that… Oh good God NO!!! Now that image has popped into my head and I have to gouge my brains out… son of a bit—
• Methinks Joe Biden’s presidential campaign has derailed even before it fully got on the tracks... at least he can help people with ‘things not to say when announcing your candidacy for president’
• Blog plug of the week: a new blog that I’m a part of (as are a few other of the usual suspects), The Supercoolest Book Club Ever
• Foreign countries where people have recently viewed my blog: Egypt, Netherlands, Thailand, Spain, United Kingdom, Japan, Australia, Sweden, Germany, India, Mexico, Canada, Singapore, and the Philippines. I’m international baby!!
• Mental iPod Song of the Day: Apparently, since they have rid the world of people downloading music for free from the internet, records companies are now scouring blogs and such looking for people illegally posting lyrics. Evidently, if you post the whole lyrics, you let the terrorists win. So with this I announce my retirement from posting song lyrics online and instead offer a hearty; “Fu** you!” to the entire recording industry.

Random Thoughts for a Thursday Afternoon

• Paula Abdul is going to play a “prominent” role in a live-action movie of the “Bratz” toy line… does this surprise, anyone?
• I read a report that trumpeted James Cameron’s return to directing. My question is, did anyone miss him?
• Things that make me believe there is a heaven: Reports of a lesbian relationship between Spanish beauty (and one of my '5' celebrities) Penelope Cruz and Mexican beauty (and another of my '5') Salma Hayek.
• Fark Headline of the Day: “Cold front moving into Colorado will drop the temperature 60 degrees overnight, from "jacket weather" to "has anybody seen where my testicles went?" Runner-up: ”Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro downgraded from Spalding to Elmer's.”
• We’re sending more troops to Iraq, the editor of PC World magazine was murdered, an Afghan insurgent helped bin Laden escape, and the “Headline” on CNN.com as I’m writing this post is about David Beckham moving to America… it’s just sad…
• The St Louis Cardinals re-signed Rick “Almost wild-pitched himself out of baseball only to try and become an outfielder who then got hurt and missed the entire World Series-winning season and is now desperately trying to resurrect anything that resembles a baseball career” Ankiel to a minor-league deal… why they did I have no idea…
• How long will Lovie Smith stick with Rex Grossman on Sunday? Apparently, that’s the ONLY news happening in Chicago this week.
• Should have posted this yesterday. A new drinking game for Bush’s speech last night. Take a shot every time Bush says “surge” “freedom,” “liberty,” “terrorists” and “troops.” Hope whoever came up with this game had 911 on hold…
• I just read that before getting behind Indiana Jones IV, George Lucas tried to recruit Harrison Ford for a Han Solo spin-off movie. Imagine the possibilities…
• Recent searches that have brought people to my slice of blogosphere heaven. “Girls with armpit hair” (that’s wrong on so many levels), “sahd wife”, “garth kemp birthday” (who the hell is garth kemp? It’s not another persona of Garth Brooks is it? Cuz one is enough…), “laurie berkner nude” (thanks QofS & SATGS), “where did legend of leprechauns originate” (thanks to my ever-popular St Pat’s day post)
• Gratuitous blog-plug of the week: I’d Like to Buy a Vowel
• In honor of “The King’s” birthday earlier this week, today’s Mental iPod Song of the Day is “Kentucky Rain”:

Seven lonely days
And a dozen towns ago
I reached out one night
And you were gone

Dont know why you'd run,
What youre running to or from
All I know is I want to bring you home
So I'm walking in the rain,
Thumbing for a ride
On this lonely kentucky backroad
I've loved you much too long
And my loves too strong
To let you go, never knowing
What went wrong

Kentucky rain keeps pouring down
And up aheads another town
That Ill go walking thru
With the rain in my shoes,
Searchin for you

In the cold kentucky rain,
In the cold kentucky rain

Showed your photograph
To some old gray bearded man
Sitting on a bench
Outside a genral store
They said yes, shes been here
But their memory wasnt clear
Was it yesterday,
No, wait the day before

So I finl'y got a ride
With a preacher man who asked
Where you bound on such a dark afternoon?
As we drove on thru the rain
As he listened I explained
And he left me with a prayer
That I’d find you

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon

I appreciate the kind words many of you have left.

Honey Mustard asked me last night if I really wanted to stop the blog… I thought for a moment and told her; ‘I don’t know. At times I feel like I want to keep it going, other times I want to stop.”

So who knows what’s going to happen.

You can view this edition of Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon one of two ways; my Random Swan Song… or just another Random post…

• Can someone please tell Pat Robertson to STFU?? Anyone?? Please, I’m begging you…
  Let’s all keep Scott’s son in our thoughts and prayers while he goes through some medical testing to find out what’s going on with his stomach.
• For some reason this morning, as I was working, the movie “The Girl, the Gold Watch & Everything” popped into my head… strange, huh?
• Fark Headline of the Day: "A woman has become the Tower of London's first ever female Beefeater." Ya know, sometimes… the jokes just write themselves…
• Twin moms!! How would you like it if THIS happened to you??? A set of twins were the celebrated last baby of 2006 AND first baby of 2007. A set of twins born at Boston's New England Medical Center Sunday night accomplished this feat when the girl twin was born at 11:58 pm Sunday night (December 31st) and the boy twin was born at 12 AM, Monday (January 1st). Twins with different birthdays… interesting…
• If you were a teenage boy (or girl for that matter), and saw the headline: “Cheerleaders Run Amok in Texas", wouldn’t you immediately book a flight to Texas? I know I will would…
• Is it just me, or is New Years Eve drastically overrated?
• Is it just me, or are the Chicago Bears drastically overrated?
• With the change in Congress taking place tomorrow (whoo-hoo!!), why do I get the feeling that Lumpyhead’s Mom is going to be posting less and less…
• Phrases that brought people to my little corner of the blogosphere: “To Kill a Mockingbird by Harpee Lee” (that’s Harper!), “+"day after day" +appears +"night after night" +heart +"fade away"” (uh… okay), “edmund fitzgerald sinking reason” (quick reason: lots of water), “PMS irritable” (not even gonna touch that one…), “twelve weeks pregnant twins morning sickness worsening”, “lyrics for mr.mom with cords” (uh, I think you meant chords… do they not teach spelling in school anymore??)
• Today’s gratuitous word or phrase to get people to my blog (not that it ever works though): radiculopathy disc herniation
• High temperature of 48 degrees today… in Chicago… in January… is it just me or is there something fundamentally wrong with that?
• This week’s gratuitous blog-plug of the week is:
• Mental iPod song of the day: Johnny Cash’s “Hurt” from American IV: The Man Comes Around
  

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myselfI would find a way

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon

It’s back… it’s bad… it’s totally rad…

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon…

• Did we really need an actual study to determine that couples have pre-marital sex?? In other news: the sky is blue, water is wet…
• 5 days to go… and The PB & The J can barely stand it…
• Can you guess what band has a new album coming out in March? Guns N’Roses. Follow-up question: will anyone care?
• How many of you saw the Christmas episode of “Studio 60?” If you liked the musician’s version of ‘O Holy Night’, you can download it for free on NBC.com… it’s worth it.
• Open question to the Chicago Cubs… $23 million for Jason Marquis? Really??
• Newest Hollywood couple: Christian Slater & Sharon Stone. What can be said besides; ‘Eeeeeewwwwww…’
• Last year The PB & The J had to watch ‘A Christmas Story’ once a day… this year? “The Polar Express”. I can’t decide which is worse…
• Best Fark headline of the day: “In the latest cunning plan to unseat Ted Kennedy, bill seeks to ban trans fats from Massachusetts”
• Tom Cruise has announced he’s gonna make a movie based on a novel by scientologist founder L. Ron Hubbard… cuz earlier attempts to do that did oh so well…
• 1/20/2009…hee hee hee hee
• A few phrases that got people to my small, insignificant corner of the blogosphere: “disney princess electric roadster”, “weekend at bernie's a guilty pleasure”, “word escape me” (coming from Japan’s Google), “placebo”, “kemp” (coming from New Zealand’s Google), “"donte stallworth parents” (only result for that inquiry)…
• Today’s superfluous, blatant attempt to draw people to my small, insig— you get the idea… “super pants”
• Today’s gratuitous and spontaneous blog plug is: Back to Me
• Today’s mental iPod Song of the Day: Christmas is coming, so it’s a Christmas song… “Elf’s Lament” by Barenaked Ladies featuring Michael Bublé.

I'm a man of reason, and they say "'Tis the season to be jolly"

But it's folly when you volley for position

Never in existence has there been such a resistance

To ideas meant to free us

If you could see us, then you'd listen

Toiling through the ages, making toys on garnished wages

There's no union

We're only through when we outdo the competition

I make toys, but I've got aspirations

Make some noise

Use your imagination

Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for

There's a list for who's been

Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

A full indentured servitude can reflect on one's attitude

But that silly red hat just makes the fat man look outrageous

Absurd though it may seem, you know, I've heard there's even been illegal doping

And though we're coping, I just hope it's not contagious

You try to start a movement, and you think you see improvement

But when thrown into the moment, we just don't seem so courageous

I make toys, but I've got aspirations

Make some noise

Use your imagination

Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for

There's a list for who's been

Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

You look at yourself

You're an elf

And the shelf is just filled with disappointing memories

Trends come and go, and your friends wanna know why you aren't just happy makingcrappy little gizmos

Every kid knows they'll just throw this stuff away

We're used to repetition, so we drew up a petition

We, the undersigned, feel undermined

Let's redefine "employment"

We know that we've got leverage, so we'll hand the fat man a beverage

And sit back while we attack the utter lack of our enjoyment

It may be tough to swallow, but our threats are far from hollow

He may thunder, but if he blunders, he may wonder where the toys went

I make toys, but I've got aspirations

Make some noise

Use your imagination

Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for

There's a list for who's been

Naughty or nice, but consider the price

Naughty or nice, but consider the price

Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf.