Idiots Need Not Apply

Wanted to share with all of you (since he had a problem with me giving out his email address) an email from William Freed. Click on the image to see it better.

I figure I’ll continue to post his emails and email address (wwfried@hotmail.com) until he stops.

Is that immature of me?

Top 100: 70 - 61

A Note: I've been getting some interesting feedback from my list so far (some positive, more of it negative) to the extent that I'm saying this; I'm not looking to make people like my taste in music as my taste can best be described as eclectic (which is one reason I am so big onto Soundtracks and why I'm allowing them on this list) and know that this causes some people frustration as they then can't 'label' me as a "Country fan", "Alternative fan", "Rock 'n' Roll fan" and so on...

The frustration has come across in some of the emails I've received (they dont have the gall to put them into the comments) and I now feel complied to say this to those critics; I refuse to apologize for my taste in music. This was supposed to be a fun excercise, but it seems to be steering vastly far away from that, to the point that I am unsure if I will continue this list and at the same time reinforcing my thoughts I've had about folding my blog all-together as my readership has dwindled and my comments have fallen off the face of the earth. But I'm starting to get preachy andthis post is starting to feel like a friggin' "Very Special Episode" post... so on with the countdown...


70 – The Rat Pack Live at the Sands by The Rat Pack. What can I say, I love ‘em all as you’ll see as this list continues. I’m not sure where my love of Sinatra, et al came from, but it’s there, and this album catches it perfectly with the selection of songs and the dialog between the three of them. This is only the 2nd official release of Rat Pack material (released immediately after the Oceans 11 remake came out) and if you like the Rat Pack, I suggest you pick this one up, you won’t be disappointed.


69 – Head Soundtrack by The Monkees . The soundtrack from their one and only film and years ahead of its time. Favorite Song: “The Porpoise Song”


68 – Funkentelechy Vs. the Placebo Syndrome by Parliament. I like funk, what can I say? And these guys are funk-masters extraordinaire.


67 – Eye to the Telescope by KT Tunstall. One of the best (recent) albums I've heard in years. The fact I discovered her via a free iTunes video of her performance on The Today Show worries me a little… but what can you do? She's good. Favorite Song: “Suddenly I See”


66 – Excitable Boy by Warren Zevon. He was a master, but you have to be in a mood for him. Favorite Song: I know it’s trite to mark this as my favorite, but it is; “Werewolves of London”


65 – Desperado Soundtrack by Various Artists. A very good album with some great music in the mariachi style. Listen to "Quedate Aqui" by Salma Hayak, it’s sexier than Marilyn Monroe's 'Happy Birthday' ditty. Give it a little listen (hopefully, if the site is working today) HERE. Favorite Song: “Strange Face of Love” by Tito & Tarantula


64 – Our Side of the Story by Last Gentlemen. Again! My brother met these guys in concert at U of I while he was a DJ (see #71) and they gave him a few copies of this album and he, as always, gave one to me. All I can say is 'wow'. Can best be described as a mix of punk and alternative with some classic rock thrown in for good measure. Good luck trying to find this album… though I have found a place to download it if you want... for free... and legal.


63 – Burnin’ by Bob Marley & The Wailers. The man. The doobie. The legend. Favorite Song: “Get Up, Stand Up”


62 – Hot House by Arturo Sandoval. One word can describe Sandoval and his music; “¡Ululación!” A bit of a flashback to the trumpet styling of a Dizzy Gilespie, Sandoval blends his Cuban roots into his jazz teachings and the result is an infusion of Latin, jazz and funk. This is one of his later albums (released in 1998), and you can tell that he's still experimenting with his playing... and it still works. Favorite Song: “Funky Cha-Cha”


61 – Mermaid Avenue by Billy Bragg & Wilco. As you’ll soon start to notice, I'm a HUGE fan of Wilco as they will be making multiple appearances on this list. I found this album the same time I found Wilco's double-album "Being There" and it doesn’t disappoint as they take on the song catalog of Woody Guthrie. Favorite Song: “At My Window Sad And Lonely”

Top 100: 80 - 71

What time is it- 5 AM?? Ugh... where's my coffee?? We're out? We only have DeCaf?? DeCaf?? I mean, really, what's the point?? I know I bought real coffee... where is it... where... AHA! Here it is... aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...

Anyway, while I "patiently" wait for the coffee, here's another part of my list


80 – (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? by Oasis I know… it’s their most-commercial album and, because of that, a bit of a sell-out. But it’s still my favorite from the Fighting Brothers. Despite Liam and Noah’s objections, the album is full of Beatles-heavy influences and harmonies. Favorite Song: “Don’t Look Back in Anger”


79 – Exile in Guyville by Liz Phair. I’m not a huge fan of Liz, I can take her or leave her, but this is a phenomenal album with some really rockin’ tunes. And she’s easy to look at, which always helps.


78 – Come Away with Me by Norah Jones. She is a singer to be reckoned with as her voice is nearly-flawless, her style is natural and she draws favorable comparisons with Billy Holiday… and did you know that her father is sitar-master Ravi Shankar? This one is a family-favorite on lazy Sunday afternoon’s… calm, cool, and collected. Favorite Song: “I Don’t Know Why”


77 – Curtain Call by Eminem. He’s everything that Vanilla Ice wanted to be but failed spectacularly at. Sure, this is called a greatest hits compilation, but whenever new songs are included, three on this album, it loses it’s ‘GH’ label… at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


76 – Pulp Fiction Soundtrack. Another college album with personal connections as well as HoMu and I walked into our wedding to Misirlou (this was in 1997, before everyone else started doing it and before Black Eyed Peas sampled it) Not as good as another QT-directed film’s soundtrack, but darn close. “Flowers on the Wall”


75 - Reservoir Dogs Soundtrack. What can I say? Quentin Tarantino knows how to put together a soundtrack album better than anyone else. Between the Steven Wright monologs and the “Madonna Speech” interwoven between the songs, it’s a stockpile of classic non-disco songs from the 70’s. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right always struck a chord with me. And the Madonna speech? I had it down pat. Almost every time we went to a bar, one of my friends would ask me to do the speech, and, being a ham, I always obliged. Favorite song: “Stuck in the Middle with You” (ear-cutting scene memories included)


74 – Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness by Smashing Pumpkins. I’m not a fan, per se of the Pumpkins, but something about this album spoke to me. Favorite song: “1979”


73 – License to Ill by Beastie Boys. How can you not like this album? Favorite Song: “Fight for your Right to Party”


72 – Madman Across the Water by Elton John. One of his smaller, lesser-known albums, but still my favorite as it showcases Elton and Bernie's more soulful side. Favorite Song: “Indian Sunset”










71 – Goodbye Jumbo by World Party. A great album. While at Illinois, my brother worked as a DJ at a “Chambana,” radio station, and constantly received free CD’s; this was one of them. He got 2 copies of this disk and gave one to me in the hopes that it would transition me from the ‘pop-bubblegum’ crap of my youth to a purveyor of fine musical taste. He succeeded. Funky, bluesy, rockin and mellow, it’s a great album that now, unfortunately, is very hard to find. Favorite Song: “When the Rainbow Comes”

See 101 - 91 and 90 - 81 to get an idea of where I'm coming from with my musical tastes.

Yes...

... sometimes my humor is sophomoric.

I'm Back

I am back.

I will resume the Top 100 Album countdown later this week, right now I am typing a post for Family Vacation 2006 Part Two: “Trip to the Land of No-road signs” that unfortunately did not include a visit to Sarah (didn’t have the time with our driving schedule – yes, we drove to Washington DC from Chicago – and her escape to BlogHer) but included some always-exceptional landmarks, some beautiful scenery, and some more-than-I-needed moronic driving.

Plus I'll tell you why I am the worst best friend in the entire history of friendship...

Stay tuned…

Here’s a picture to whet your appetite…

Editor's Note: No pictures right now. Why you ask? Because Blogger bites it!

Top 100: 90 - 81

And the hits just keep on coming...


90 – Too High to Die by Meat Puppets I know, I know, I know. Serious fans of theirs say this was their weakest album… I disagree. It’s full of some solid rock-out songs, some melodious melodies (wow, I don’t think you can do that to the English language) and some much-needed angst-anthems. Favorite Song: “Evil Love”


89 – Make Believe by Weezer. Not a huge Weezer fan, but I got this album for one of my nephews and then downloaded it onto my iPod. The first time I listened to it I found myself liking it… a lot (except for the overplayed ‘Beverly Hills’) Even if you think their earlier stuff was just this side of pop bubblegum, I strongly suggest you give this one a try. Favorite Song: “This is Such a Pity”


88 – Lola versus Powerman and the Money-Go-Round by The Kinks. A powerful album with some beautifully poetic songs that came amid a five-year, six-album burst that helped set them apart from other groups of the day. Favorite Song: “Lola”


87 – Standards by Ray Charles. One word can sum this album up; wow. Ray does his take on some of the classic songs of the past, and nails it. Favorite Song: “Georgia on my Mind”


86 – Greatest Hits Volume 1 and 2 by Billy Joel. This is one of those strange greatest hits albums in the way that it's more like a regular album like The Beatles Blue and Red albums, which, while technically were GH compilations, had a life all their own. Same thing with this one. And as I said earlier (I think), if it has one or two new songs on it, the GH’s label is not totally relevant. Favorite song(s): Disc 1- “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” Disc 2- “Goodnight Saigon”


85 – Mugzy’s Move by Royal Crown Revue. You can take your Cherry Poppin’ Daddies and your Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, I’ll take Royal Crown Revue. Again, like a lot of others on this list, my brother introduced me to them. They never enjoyed the success of the other two bands which is a shame as they were definitely the more original of the three. Some of the songs on this album were on their Indie Label debut but were given the “real” producing treatment here. If you like swing music with a rock n roll attitude, and have enjoyed CPD and BBVD, then give RCR a try. Favorite Song: “Zip Gun Bop”


84 – Flood by They Might Be Giants. Years and years before they sold out with “Malcolm in the Middle” and The Disney Channel they released this incredible album. While most everyone knows “Istanbul” and “Birdhouse in Your Mind”, I suggest you listen to the other catchy sing-along songs on the album in order to get a real feel for this band. Favorite Song: “Lucky Ball and Chain”


83 – Achtung Baby by U2. Others will say The Joshua Tree was their best, others would say Zooropa. I don’t care about their best, I care about my favorite U2 album… and this is it. Long before Bono forgot that he’s a singer and NOT a worldhealer, the band made this album and it rocks. Hint: If you like the song ‘One” from this album, listen to Mary J. Blige’s version; it blows the U2 version off the map. Favorite Song: “Mysterious Ways”


82 – Abraxas by Santana. I'm sure almost everyone knows two of the songs from this album; arguable Santana's most famous "classic" songs: "Oye Como Va" and "Black Magic Woman", but what they may not know is that they were both on the same album, and the entire thing is a masterpiece. I had this CD in college but it was stolen one night during a party, so I had to buy a new one a few years ago. Still a classic. Favorite song: “Se a Cabo” (To Cabo)


81 – August and Everything After by Counting Crows. Another album from my college days (like most of them on here are). Ignore Mr. Jones as you’ve probably heard I a gazillion times on the radio and click over to one of the other tracks and you’ll find an exceptional album with some truly memorable lyrics. Favorite Song: “Rain King”

It continues...

I will be out of town for the next five days (Washington DC and then West Virginia) so you'll all have to wait until next Monday for the net installment of Kemp's Top 100 Albums.

I know it will be hard, but be strong... I'll be back before you know it.

Top 100: 101 - 91

It’s time.

After days and days of analyzing, postulating, calculating and hypothesizing…

Which was then followed by more re-analyzing, re-postulating, re-calculating and re-hypothesizing…

Which was then followed by even more re-analyzing, re-postulating, re-calculating and re-hypothesizing… I have done it.

Kemp’s Top 100 Albums.

You may all murmur amongst yourselves in anticipation of this grandiose event.

Let me throw out a few ground rules.

On rare occasions I accepted Greatest Hits compilations (it’s my list, so, conceivably, I could do what I wanted…)

I allowed soundtracks. If I didn’t allow soundtracks, that would have negated a few albums that I love and listen to A LOT.

I had to own the album or have the entire album on my iPod.

There are no rules. This was meant to be a fun exercise… as such, some of my favorite albums may not be others people’s idea of a favorite, or even good, album… and that’s my prerogative (No, you won’t be seeing any Bobby “Fisticuffs are my life” Brown on my list… nor his wife, Whitney “What happened to me and my career” Houston.

What you will see is Pearl Jam, The Beatles, The Kinks, Johnny Cash, Elvis and Poi Dog Pondering.

I started out with over 500 albums on my list and have now pared it down to 101 (always the overachiever am I…)

So without further ado…

The countdown begins with numbers 101 - 91… right now! [Whack!!… crash! Tingle… tingle… tingle….]

Damn it, that’s the last time I buy a gong off e-bay… ok, let’s try this again with my gas-powered fanfare machine…

The countdown starts… right now…[sputter, sputter,sputter…]

…

Right now…[sputter...wheeze...sputter...]

…

Son of a bi—

Right now! [Whoosh! Dum de de dum… dum dum dum dem de de dum… Gong!!]


101 – He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper by DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince. Come on now… Who can ignore this camp classic? The rap is child-like, the rhythms routine and the lyrics overflow with XX, but it's still catchy in a pop-bubblegum kind of way. Favorite Song: “Parent’s Just Don’t Understand”


100 – Songs from the Big Chair by Tears for Fears. One of those 80’s album that everyone owned. From the sappy “Head over Heels” to the world-domination anthem (if it were a group of 'Up with People') “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”, this album was, and still is for me, one that instantly beams me back to the 1980’s. Favorite Song: “Shout”


99 – No Need to Argue by The Cranberries. This was the album from this Irish band. More emotionally raw and stronger than their first album (which missed being on this list by a smidge) it made some fans of their first album (like my friends Carrie and Angela) come to have feelings of derision for the group. I didn’t fall into that trap and found it to be 100-times better. Favorite Song: “Zombie”


98 - Ten by Pearl Jam. Now, I’m not a huge grunge fan, but the first time I heard this album way back when, I instantly fell in love with it. Eddie and the boys have never sounded better. While at times they band had an ego-problem, they still dished out some mighty-fine tunes. Favorite song: “Even Flow”


97 – Songs in the Key of Life by Stevie Wonder. Wonder is a phenomenal talent, and that talent is embodied with this album, which, as the title suggests, deal with things that are close and personal to Wonder and his life. Favorite Song: “Isn’t She Lovely”


96 - Blue Train by John Coltrane. As C-boy said, I could probably do a separate list with Jazz and Blues. One of John C’s best, he piques the interest of everyone who listens to this album. Odds are, you’ll see more of Mr. Coltrane before this list is done. Favorite song: “Blue Train”


95 – Les Misérables by Original Broadway Cast. Yes… it's a Broadway musical. No, I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), I just really, really like this show and the album. The music and singing are superb and emotional and tell the story, originally written by Victor Hugo, so well. Favorite Song: “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables”


94 - 3 years, 5 months & 2 days in the life of… by Arrested Development. The band was short-lived, but their tuneful blending of funk, rap and “southerness”, made this a great album that, unfortunately, the band couldn’t top. Favorite Song: “People Everyday”


93 – Citizen Steely Dan by Steely Dan. Yes, technically a Box Set, but not in the strict sense of the term. This set has every, single album that the band released before 1980 with each selection crossing every musical genres and forcing every listener to reflect. Favorite song: “East St. Louis Toodle-Do”


92 – Oranges and Lemons by XTC. A fantastic album with some very loud Beatle-ism’s. The band and this album never got as big as they should have, being drowned out by the band and album above them at #100. It’s a shame, as XTC was probably the better of the two bands. Favorite Song: “Mayor of Simpleton”


91 – Birth of the Cool by Miles Davis. Come on… do I really need to explain this one? The quintessential blues album has Miles in excellent and perfect form. Hint; you may see Mr. Davis on this list again. Favorite Song: “Budo”

We're off...

The anticipation is building...

In anticipation of throwing myself over the cliff with the rest of the lemmings (like e v e r y o n e else has) and naming my Top 100 Albums list, I thought I would regale you all with my bottom...

...

My bottom as in my bottom albums list… sheesh, must is always be sex with you people?

These are albums that didn’t even get included in the original 520 base point I started with, and not by coincidence, aren’t even on my iPod.

Though I am curious as to why we still have these craptacular discs in our CD rack… maybe I wanted to save them for The Peanut Butter and The Jelly so they can see how odd Daddy and Mommy used to be.

• Debbie… sorry, Deborah… Gibson: “Electric Youth.” When I was 14 she was hot as hell and I wanted her. Now… well, now I’m married, but after seeing her spread from Playboy, she is still be on my “celebrity-do” list… her music… not so much. Though I have tto say she’s still better than Tiffany. According to her website, she’s released a duet with Jordan Knight, he of NKOTB (who I can happily say is a group that I have NO albums by). There are so many smart ass comments whirling about my head right now, I can’t pick just one…
• Garth Brooks: “In Pieces” “No Fences” “The Chase” – I liked him at first. Then his ego got bigger than his talent… then he released that annoying and self-satisfying ‘Chris Gaines’ piece of crap and I lost all respect for him as a singer/musician. Now he’s thrown himself into a pact with the Devil, and by devil I mean Wal-Mart. What a dumb ass.
• Celine Dion: “Celine Dion” – why did I buy this album? Oh, right, my girlfriend at the time liked her, and I liked the girlfriend, so I tortured myself and bought this piece of musical claptrap. She is to music, what Six Habits of Highly Effective People is to books; a complete and total disaster. I wouldn’t think it possible, but she both sucks and blows.
• Color Me Badd: “CMB” – Again… what the HELL was I thinking?? It’s entirely possible I bought this in college after a night of heavy drinking… at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it… And just so you know, according to Amazon, they have a ‘Greatest Hits’ album. Oddly enough, most of the songs on the hits album are on CMB… so one has to ask oneself; what’s the point?
• Damn Yankees: “Damn Yankees” – Nothing worse than a pop-bubblegum rock “supergroup” that thinks they’re heavy metal. This one was a lapse in judegement. I liked the album at one time I think. But it was high school and I’ve pretty much suppressed those four years…
• Mariah Carey: “Mariah Carey” – Again, what the HELL was I thinking. This was released the summer of 1990 after I just finished my junior year in high school (suppression!). So, it’s entirely possible I bought this album because of my girlfriend at the time. A girlfriend who turned out to be, like Mariah, crazy as a fuc**** loon…
• EMF: “Schubert Dip” – Yeah… I think I bought this one for one song; “Unbelievable” and that’s it. I probably listened to that song a few dozen times and nothing else (who knows why) then… poof! The song vanished from my conscience and the album stayed in the rack. This CD was in our ‘spare rack’ where we put any double albums that HoMu and I each had when we got married. What made me remember this song and album? The music is being used to shill Kraft Cheese Crumbles with the phrase; '”They're CRUMBelieveable” Sad… just sad…
• “Titantic” Soundtrack. This one just makes me ashamed… I think a friend bought it and somehow it got ensnared into my collection. However it came into my possession… I’m sorry... I’m truly, truly sorry…

That’s it, that’s the bottom of my list. I will start posting my Top 100 tomorrow or Monday.

"Kemp, why haven't you posted your Top 100 Albums list yet?"

Well, I think this explains it all...

Plus... it's hard. It's been hard to pare my list of albums down from over 525 (I know, it's pathetic) to 100. So, having the analytical mind that I have, I've made it into a process. I won't bore you with the details, but I can assure you the start of the list is forthcoming... today... or tomorrow... or Saturday...

But it is coming...

Everyone else is doing it…

Since e v e r y o n e, and I do mean everyone, who has a blog is doing their TOP 100 albums, I thought I would do the same.

Why?

Why the hell not.

So get ready blogosphere… for Kemp’s Top 100 Albums…

Not today though…

Tomorrow…

You’re on the edge of your seat, aren’t ya? Oozing with anticipation and sweat.

Then again, maybe not.

Whatever your feelings are towards it, stay tuned...

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon

• My wife started her new job last week; so far, so good…
• Happy Birthday to two of my favorite writers: Henry David Thoreau (1817) and Pablo Neruda (1904).
• As if you needed more things on the Internet to kill time with, I give you this LINK. (Hint: it’s an online Etch-a-Sketch…)
• Mancow’s been fired and the radio landscape in Chicago is suddenly less crappy and polluted with less idiocy – “HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!”
• Thanks to Crouton Boy, Sarah and MetroDad for wishing me a Happy Birthday on my birthday posts.
• Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, Prince Leia slave costume…
• And a Princess Leia slave costume website? Whoo-hoo!!
• Things I’ve read on some of my blogmigos’ sites this week: QofS is damn-proud of her hubby, CPX2 explains the rules of traveling on an airplane with twins, Happy First Birthday Cheeky!, Gidge is talking about her, um… uh, her, uh…(ahem)… just read the post…, Mr. Big Dubya lies
• Who knew there were this many types of fetishes??
• Joey Buttafuoco is going back to prison. Color me unsurprised…
• Two words come to mind after I read this ARTICLE: Dumb. Asses.
• Need iPod speakers? I got these for my birthday and they rock.
• Here are some of the recent search phrases that have brought people to my little corner of the blogosphere: “Soledad O'Brian and Miles O'Brian+married”, “"laurie berkner nude"” (this one makes me feel like I’m stealing someone away from Erin), “www.emasculation.com”, “"stage 2 ultrasound"”, “should you feed twins at the same time”, “twins one heartbeat 6 weeks”, “electric ride on corvette”,
  

Birthday #33

Honey Mustard threw me a surprise birthday party Saturday night… a sweet gesture as I have never had a surprise party thrown for me before.

Family, friends, pizza, alcohol and presents... good times.

The party was complete with pictures of me from the past.

I will NOT (and I can not stress that enough - will NOT) be posting any of the aforementioned pictures here.

Having said that, and unbeknownst to me at the time, my wife gave Scott some of the pictures with the understanding that he was to post them on his blog.

Rest assured if that happens… in the words of Owen Lars; “There’ll be hell to pay.”

Happy Birthday to me

You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too--yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time

I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party.

I would like you to dance--Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance--Birthday
Dance

You say it's your birthday
Well it's my birthday too--yeah
You say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Others born on July 8: Kevin Bacon, Sofia Bush (who?), Toby Keith (eewwwww), Angelica Huston, Wolfgang Puck, Raffi (shudder), Marty Feldman, Nelson Rockefeller, John Rockefeller and the inventor of the dirigible: Ferdinand Graf von Zeppelin

What's next?

The fourth of July has come and gone.

The next holiday is my birthday. Granted, it’s not a nationally recognized day – YET – but it is approaching nonetheless.

So you all know, I have tried many, many times to rewrite the Disney posts I lost, but have been unsuccessful as of yet.

Why you ask?

Because I can’t remember all the little things that happened; and let’s be honest, the funniest stuff from vacations always comes from the ‘little things’.

Anyhow, I’ve decided to forgo those posts in hopes that if I stop trying to write about them, I’ll have an epiphany and remember everything…

At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Anyhow, I felt I had to inform all of you about the news we received this past weekend.

A cousin of mine is mayor of a “smallish” town here in Illinois (near the St. Louis area) and every July they have a festival and parade to honor the town’s founding and name a grand marshal, or two, to be the parade’s un-official spokesperson.

Who are the grand marshals going to be this year?

The Peanut Butter and The Jelly.

That’s right… MY PB & J are going to be the grand marshals of a parade. Ok, I know that it’s not the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade or the Tournament of Roses parade, but it’s still a parade that draws hundreds of people every year.

And they’re keeping up a family tradition; when I was 7 my brother and I rode in a float (with Fredbird) in St. Louis’ St. Patrick’s Day parade.

Now it’s The PB and The J’s turn.

Truth to be told; I’m giddy (no wait, men don’t get giddy… let’s say that I’m ecstatic) about them being in a parade where they’ll be able to throw candy (unless they eat it all themselves) and be the center of attention, which, being four, they "don't" enjoy at all (sarcasm alert)

They have two choices of how to be transported in the parade; they can either ride in my Dad’s C6 corvette, or my cousin will have someone construct them a float to ride on (personally, my vote is for one of his "mayoral minions" to build a float, but that must be the socialist in me)

The event is less than 2 weeks away, and I will have pictures posted.

Stay tuned…

Wow

DAMN is this impressive.

When I saw it the first time I couldn’t believe it and knew I had to share it with all my blogmigos.

It’s from Sir David Attenborough (Sir Richard’s brother) and his Life In The Undergrowth series, so you know it’s legit.

Fair warning though, it may make your skin crawl.

It’s a giant (over 13 inches long) Venezuelan centipede catching and eating... a bat.

Click HERE to see the video via boingboing.

Random Thoughts for a Tuesday Afternoon

• Always exciting when you catch a fish that could eat you.
• Okay, it’s official; we as a nation have become a bunch of lazy-asses. How about a machine that will dunk your cookie into your milk for you. No lie, someone (in Florida of course) invented one.
• Yesterday’s best headline on Fark: Nudists looking for new members, apparently tired of looking at the same old members. [rimshot!]
• How many people who read this blog did I just antagonize by insulting Florida?
• Rush Limbaugh was detained at an airport for having Viagra without a valid prescription. Limbaugh taking Viagra… talk about an image I don’t need to have…
• Though he has been screwing people over for years.
• Steven Seagal is making good headlines with his music career. Who’d a thunk it?
• Things that make my skin crawl. Headline from an op-ed piece in the Chicago Tribune: Taking a bath with Ann Coulter. Ewwwwwwwwwww……
• How would you do? Click HERE and see how you do on a sample of the civics test that immigrants have to pass in order to become a U.S. citizen.
• I scored a 19 out of 20. I missed the name of the form to become a U.S. citizen. Rats...
• As a person who loves crossword puzzles, THIS is an excellent article and I will have to see this movie.
• Good (but not great) article about traveling from St. Louis (where I was born) to Chicago (where I live now) and things to do. Give it a read HERE.
• Words every husband hopes to hear from their wife; “Honey, I’ve enrolled in a pole-dancing/cardio strip-class at the gym.”
• Superfluous blog-plug of the week: Sarah’s moved, go and check out her new site HERE… it’s now 100% Blogger-free.

Doggone it...

In it’s heyday, Frasier was one of the best shows on television; funny as hell, intelligent, chocked-full of physical comedy and never above making fun of itself. It was also one of my favorite shows until it jumped the shark a few years ago, only to right itself in the show's last 2 seasons.

Now comes this news: Moose, the lovable Jack Russell terrier who played Eddie on the show… has died.

He was 16 ½ (115 years old in dog years) and died of old age.

Goodbye little doggie…

D'oh!

Don’t you just love it when you have three long posts about you family’s trip to Disney World saved to a jump drive… and the jump drive decides overnight that it’s going to corrupt itself and you lose everything???

I do. I really, really do.

(Can’t you just feel the sarcasm dripping out of that statement?)

That’s what happened to me this past week. I had day’s four, five and six from our Disney Trip done.

I finished them all on Tuesday while HoMu was having surgery done – nothing “major”, she was having her deviated septum fixed – and yesterday I went to check them and post one...

Gone.

All of them... gone.

Everything on my jumpdrive... gone.

Every. Damn. Thing.

Gone.

Work files, home files, blog posts, everything... gone.

Luckily I had backups for the work and home files.

Not so much for the blog posts... they are forever lost to the cosmos...

So... I’m pretty pissed right now.

And bummed.

And puzzled.

Do I try to rewrite them? Do I say fu** it and not rewrite them? Or do I take the middle ground and do one post that encompasses the remaining days?

What do you guys think? Inquiring minds want to know.

A quick father's day post

For those of you looking for Part 3 of the Disney World Saga… don’t be disappointed, it’s coming soon – lot of stuff to cover… and remember…

And I’ve also been suffering from some severe writer’s block (or blogstipation – thanks Becky) as I cannot put into words what I want to say about the vacation… or anything else for that matter…

So let me post this short and simple post right now:

Taking a cue from Sarah, let me wish a Happy Father’s Day to all the Fathers out there who have blogs that I read on a consistent (some might say obsessive) basis: Scott, Crouton Boy, Childs Play x2, Mr. Big Dubya, MetroDad, Chocolate Makes it Better, Cynical Dad, Middle Aged Dad and The Whited News – HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

Now, let me give a hearty Happy Father’s Day to my Dad, my Uncle Nishan (who was more like a grandfather to me than an uncle) my Grandpa Warren, and my Abuelo Florentino. I love you all – HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!

"Day Two: Magic Kingdom" or "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mouse"

Day Two - A LONG, LONG, LONG Post

Our first full day in Florida and our first day of park tickets started early. Fortunately, day one was relatively calm and peaceful with only one true tantrum.

At 6:30 the phone rings with our wake-up call. Remembering the staggeringly annoying wake-up calls at Disney World when I was there in 1997, I made my wife answer it… (I’m sorry, I just cant handle anyone or anything being that fuc**** happy that early in the morning, especially without any coffee in my system)

She’s up and walks over to the food court to get herself some soda and me some coffee (isn’t she sweet?) and I hit the shower while letting the younglings sleep a ‘little’ longer.

We are at Magic Kingdom at 8:50, in time to see the “calling” of Mickey so he and his ‘posse’ can officially call for the opening of the Magic Kingdom. And right on cue, the train arrives at the station and Mickey and his friends get out, sing their little ditty, and huzzah; the gates part and we enter the ‘Happiest Place on Earth’.

And with that, The PB and The J’s first trip to Disney World was “officially” under way.

The PB and The J are not really accustomed to sitting in lines… let alone relatively long lines. So the Day One Meltdown (herein called DOM) starts… for both of them... while we wait in the line to ride Dumbo.

They don’t want to wait, they want to get on the ride NOW, not later. They want to know why the people in front of us aren't sharing. They want to ride Dumbo, and they want to ride it now...
After about 10 minutes they calmed down and realized that they weren’t the only ones waiting and that no one else in line was crying. So they stopped.

Then finally, it was our turn, The PB with HoMu and The J with me.

They loved it. They laughed, they giggled, they applauded…

(Aside: Is it me, or is the length of rides getting shorter and shorter??)

We rode Dumbo, we rode the Carousel, we rode The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (which was Mr. Toad's Wild Ride back in 1997. Apparently the braintrust at Disney finally realized that the kids of today had no clue who the hell Mr. Toad was...), Snow White's Scary Adventures (which, quite frankly, scared the bejeebus out of The PB), Mad Tea Party (The J's favorite ride while we were there) and The Barnstormer at Goofy's Wiseacre Farm (the PB's FAVORITE ride while we were there)

Now it's time for me to make a confession; I like rollercoasters, I like flying, I like doing fun-stuff, but I, Kemp, have a confession to make:

I don't like the Teacups at Mad Tea Party.

It's not that I don't like the ride per se, it's just that for some unknown, unearthly reason, that ride makes me queasy and nauseous. The four of us went on it once, and I had to prevent HoMu from making the cup go faster because I was starting to feel sick.

What's wrong with me? Am I a chicken? Am I a wuss? I don't know. There, that's my confession.

After riding a surfeit of rides, it was time for our first (of MANY) character meals. This was Winnie the Pooh and Friends at The Crystal Palace.

One word can sum it up: 'Wow!'

The restaurant is gorgeous, the food was great, and the characters came to each and every table and then, at one point during the festvities, they did the 'Tigger Dance' and had all the kids form a conga line and dance throughout the place. The PB & The J did, and I almost had to restrin HoMu from joining in (WTP is her all-time favorite Disney character. So much so that when we first started dating in college, that was her nickname for me, 'Pooh'... why the hell did I just tell all of you that??? Son of a bit--)

Anyway... after eating WAY too much and getting autograph and pictures galore, we headed to Adventure Land and rode, among others, The Magic Carpets of Aladdin (which is the same thing as Dumbo but with 'carpets' that can hold four instead of baby elephants that can hold two). This was also where the kids bought their first souvenier; a water bottle that 'spritzes' water through a kid-friendly fan. Find a need and fill it has always been my motto...

About 4:00, seeing that the girls were getting cranky, we decided to head back to the resort for a quick break (and a change, it was 93 degrees and we were all hot and sweaty) before our next character meal at 6:30.

We get back to Magic Kingdom and hopped on the Monorail (every time we got on, I had to sing the 'Monorail' song from The Simpsons, to the extent that The PB and The J also started singing it) to get to Chef Mickey's for our dinner with Mickey and the gang. Again, a very nice place. Good food, a LOT of characters (Mickey, Donald, Minnie, Goofy, Chip and Dale) and a relaxed atmosphere. They also did a dance with Goofy that required everyone to take their napkins and twirl them above their head (and apparantly ignoring the fact that some of the napkins probably have bits of food on them that will be flung in every direction)

Back to Magic Kingdom and watched Country Bear Jamboree (I think this attraction's time has come. The songs are more than a tad strange 'Blood on the Ground'?) and the "SpectroMagic" Parade followed by the nightly fireworks.

Then back to the room to sleep for another day of fun...

Tomorrow, Day Three at MGM. And this is where the fun REALLY starts...