Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Blog Confessionals

It’s time for a confession… one I’ve held back and kept secret for years… one that gnaws at my soul and wakes me up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat… a confession that could shake the very foundation of my life… so here goes…

I’m afraid of the Oompa Loompas.

Yes… you read that right, the Oompa Loompas. The little demons things from the original Willy Wonka movie…

They scare me… I admit it... it’s not something I’m proud of, but they scare me silly.

I don’t really know what it is about them that freaks me out… but they do.

Please don’t laugh at me.

Now you might me asking yourself how this came up?

Or you might be asking yourself why you’re reading this blog in the first place, but that’s neither here nor there… it all started this past Saturday night, Honey Mustard, The Peanut Butter, The Jelly and I were sitting with HoMu’s youngest sister, who is disabled, so her parents could see a show we had gotten them tickets for.

To get off track momentarily, we first watched the original Parent Trap, and while watching it, I remembered that the actress playing the gold-digger was the same actress that played Patrick Dennis’ snobby fiancé in Auntie Mame and played the gold-diggers mother in the 1998 remake. More proof that you can believe me when I tell you I am chocked-full of useless knowledge…

Afterwards, The PB & The J wanted to watch Willy Wonka.

HoMu said yes, I on the other hand, wanting nothing to do with it, protested… I said it’s late and the girls need to lie down and go to bed…

No dice…

I then said the movie would give them nightmares…

Again, no dice…

So they put the movie in… besides being a colossal piece of mind-numbing drivel, the movie is, quite frankly, excessively cloying… but we watched the movie…

And then, the unspeakable happened…

The Oompa-Loompas appeared…

Oh. My. God.

One look into their beady little eyes and all I see is one thing; EVIL.

Pure, unadulterated, evil.

What it is about them that freaks me out I’m not quite certain of, but I can tell you that I am reasonably sure they are out to get each and every one of us…

Think about it… when was the last time you saw an Oompa Loompa walking around New York City… or Washington DC… or Tampa

Exactly… you don’t see them…because they’re camouflaged… they’re camouflaged and waiting for just the right moment to spring up and unleash their evil…

Am I the only one that sees this?

8 comments:

Samantha Jo Campen said...

Wow. Please just don't scare the children!

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Myabe they are hiding under your bed.

SaraPMcC said...

That's hilarious. I agree, though. There's something evil about them. They have no joy about being in a chocolate factory. Of course, why should they? They're slaves, no?

On a side note, I love the original Parent Trap. My sister and I used to watch that every Saturday when we were kids.

SaraPMcC said...

That's hilarious. I agree, though. There's something evil about them. They have no joy about being in a chocolate factory. Of course, why should they? They're slaves, no?

On a side note, I love the original Parent Trap. My sister and I used to watch that every Saturday when we were kids.

Becky said...

I don't suppose you want to talk about Dorothy's munchkins? They must be related.

Lumpyheadsmom said...

I can't look at this guy without singing the Lollipop Guild song.

But come to think of it, he might be an Oompa Loompa.

Which one is more evil?

Scott said...

Let's keep Dorothy's munchkins out of this it's a family blog...

P.s.- I hear they were saline munchkins...

John said...

I, too, prefer the original parent trap.

As for the oompa loompa thing...

dude, that's wierd.