Yep, we're that sophomoric...

Honey Mustard was reading a bedtime book about planets to The Peanut Butter & The Jelly tonight.

She turns the page and reads: "Can you find Uranus?

...

She and I burst out laughing... meanwhile the girls are looking at us like we're strange (which, of course, we are)... and we can't stop laughing...

Must be our juvenile sense of humor...

Sans cast

The six weeks is over...

The cast is off...

Things are returning back to normal at Casa de Gemelos as The Peanut Butter had her short cast removed yesterday (her long-cast was removed 2-weeks ago) and is now, cast-free.

Let me get a ‘whoo-hoo’ for The PB!

It Begins

I know it was inevitable, I just didn’t think it would be this soon.

Pop quiz; what do candy bars, popcorn, wrapping paper, books and pizzas all have in common?

You give up?

They’re all things that kids are forced asked to sell while they are in school.

You can see what’s coming next, right?

They’re only four (and ½) years old, but The Peanut Butter and The Jelly have already started a ritual that every student in the United States has to endure for years & years and years & years…

That’s right, The PB & The J are selling stuff for their school.

Four years old… in preschool… and they’re selling stuff.

Well, not them so much as Honey Mustard and I.

They are selling popcorn… and not just any popcorn my friend; “Gourmet” popcorn (which in layman’s terms means small amounts of “relatively expensive” popcorn) There’s no normal buttered corn here, no sirree bob… this popcorn has flavors like Macadamia Crunch, Chicago Style, Chocolate-drizzled Carmel Corn, White Cheddar cheesecorn, Cookies and Cream and Rainbow (green apple, cheery, peach and two other flavors that have NO right being anywhere near a kernel of corn)

The girls did a good job of asking people if they wanted to buy popcorn (as good as any four-year old could), but let’s face it – when kids are this young and are assigned to sell something, the schools are expecting the parents to do it.

I remember selling stuff in grade school, junior high and high school… but not preschool.

Candy bars that were small and pricey (never mind that you could get essentially the same thing in the story for half that amount), pizzas that tasted like ass, popcorn that never fully popped, tins of popcorn that had probably been sitting around since the Eisenhower administration, wrapping paper that was ugly and magazines that no-one ever wanted to read… ever…

The strangest thing I ever sold? Poinsettias. Not for a garden club or anything, but for the speech/debate team in my high school.

My questions to you, dear readers and blogmigos, what age do you remember starting in on this grand tradition and what was the strangest thing you remember selling?

Inquiring minds want to know...

They're Aaron Sorkin junkies...

Having been subjected to seeing every episode of "The West Wing" since... hell, since they were in the womb, it's no wonder that The Peanut Butter and The Jelly are big West Wing fans.

On Monday & Tuesday nights (my wife is at school those nights. BTW, cheer her on blogaudience as, after this semester, she has only two classes left towards her Master's Degree), when I ask the girls what they want to do- their response is usually the same: play legos and watch West Wing with Daddy.

(Truthfully - how many 4-year olds do you know who will ask for West Wing by name?)

So we'll play legos and watch one episode of West Wing (their favorite episode is "Privateers" from Season 4... probably because in one scene, Josh mentions Captain Feathersword) before I turn the TV off and read them one two three four books before it's bed time.

Now... it seems I've gotten them hooked on "Studio 60..."

I recorded the first episode last week because Honey Mustard and I weren't home, and when I watched it last Tuesday night, they sat on the couch next to me... somewhat mesmerized.

Because HoMu was at school last night, I taped it for her and me (I was watching the football game)

When I picked them up from school this afternoon, on the way to their grandma's, The PB asked: "Daddy, Sunstriptudi tonight?"

I can only assume that she was asking me if we were going to watch "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" tonight.

What can I say, my kids are Aaron Sorkin junkies.

Maybe I can use their love of all-things-Sorkin to get "Sports Night: The Complete Series" on DVD.

It's worth a shot...

Psst, hey... buddy...

Did you know that tomorrow is the First Anniversary of Scott and mine’s Poli-Blog – The BushWhacked Administration?

You didn’t?

Well… now you do.

What do we have planned?

We have a guest post by a friend of mine about her feeling’s towards former Texas Governor Ann Richards, a couple of reflective pieces by Scott and I, a wrap-up of the last 12 months and last, but certainly not least, a special post by everyone’s favorite Goon Squad leader; Sarah.

BTW; if any of you (wink, wink, nudge, nudge... I do mean any of you) want to write a guest post for TBWA, by all means, let me know at kempsblog@gmail.com… even if you’re a conservative (there must be a few out there who read my blog) we’ll post it as Scott and I both believe in practicing tolerance for those that disagree with us… no matter how wrong they may be.

So be sure to stop by TBWA tomorrow and say hi.

Only a matter of time...

Knowing that my daughters each have one at home, I'm waiting for the day when ALL the electronic Elmo dolls become self-aware, fight back and eventually rule the earth.

It's like Small Soldiers meets Maximum Overdrive meets Chucky; death, carnage, toys...

Think about it...

Doing a Solo

Yesterday, Honey Mustard, The Peanut Butter and The Jelly had a baby shower to attend at Noon...

Which means that I was home alone...

You read that right; home alone.

As in no kids.

As in no wife.

Not a single person... just some beer, some cheese, some chips, some football... and me.

It was like I had died and gone to guy-heaven, where it’s always football-season Sundays and you can eat all the cheese, chips and beer you want and not get fat.

It also gave me some perspective as I totally get Superman’s Fortress of Solitude now… he wasn’t going there to meditate; he was going to get away from saving the world every five minutes. He went there so he could watch some football, drink some beer, stick his hand in his tights and veg-out.

Don’t get me wrong though, I absolutely love my kids and my wife... but sometimes... a man just has to be alone in his Sunday-glory with no worries except the occasional fantasy football-related question such as: “Why didn’t I draft the Bears ‘defense?” Or “What the hell was I thinking in drafting Lamont Jordan?”

(Being alone watching football also allows one to scream obscenities at the television with impunity when you see that your Wide Receiver on the Lions can't catch a fuc**** pass to save his life even though he guaranteed a victory the previous week... but I digress.)

Solitude is a good thing... unless your Emily Dickinson of course, then I wouldn’t advise it.

'Cast'ing Call

It's been four weeks already.

Today is the day that The Peanut Butter gets her full-arm cast taken off and replaced by a half-arm cast, which she will wear for the final two weeks.

When Honey Mustard and I asked her what color she wanted, she responded with a hearty shout of "Orange!"

When we asked her why, she said; "Because orange is sissy's (The Jelly) favorite color..."

Cries of ‘Aaawwwww... isn't that precious,’ in five... four... three... two...

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon

Writer’s Block... again... and I can’t think of a damn thing to write, and when I do… it makes no sense whatsoever.

While that would qualify me to be a member of “President” Bush’s speechwriting staff, it’s not good enough for my loyal reader.

But I can still spew-out vapid, random thoughts… so here ya go.

• Hmmm… what do I care less about? Brittany’s second baby… or results from "Dancing with the Stars"? Damn, that's a toughie...
• From the people who brought us the picture of the python that exploded after eating an alligator, comes a python stuck in the road after eating a pregnant sheep… yes, you read that right, a pregnant sheep… click HERE for the picture goodness…
• This week’s Give me a fuc**** break award goes to Florida Circuit Judge Susan Roberts for warning the mother of two murder victims to NOT cry on the stand. Whether it makes legal sense or not, and personally I’ve never heard of this before, it’s cold and shows an obscene lack of empathy.
• Google is celebrating banned books this month (do not get me started on censorship!) and, being one who firmly believes in the First Amendment and have read most of these, I wanted to link the site. Check it out, some of them will make you scratch your head and wonder; ‘Why the hell would someone want to ban this book?’
• Want to post your own message on a McDonald’s sign? Try this LINK.
• What a cheap-ass stunt (pun intended…)
• Fark Headline of the day: “Triple amputee arrested for assaulting wife. Even though he was unarmed, state attorney says he hasn't leg to stand on with self-defense claims.”
• No fair… my iPod only has 60 GB…
• El Niño is back… mwahhh hah hah hah hah hah hah hah…
• Search flashback. These things brought people to my corner of the blogosphere recently: “Kids electric vehicles corvette”, “menards marion il” (second time in as many months), “edmund fitzgerald stream”, “EIU Pemberton mary Hawkins”, “PMS-irritable moods”, “magic kingdom trip parade”, “kemp high school squad”, “Donte Stallworth parents”
• Today’s phrase written only as a blatant attempt to attract readers (which I’m “borrowing” from Sarah): doodlebops without makeup
• This weeks wanton Blog Plug: Back to Me

All I got... have fun with 'em...