Saturday, September 10, 2005


I’m an addict.

I’m addicted. I admit it. I have no control over it at all. It I don’t have it, I feel the void; headaches, nervousness, irritation…and that's only for the people who have to put up with me without coffee

I’m speaking of coffee of course. Morning. Afternoon. Evening. Anytime of the day is a good time for coffee.

One doesn't drink coffee because one is thirsty, or because it provides nutritional value, or because one enjoys it. Rather, one drinks coffee because it is a chance to revel in life--to enjoy its dark and bitter waters, the acidic aftertaste. Then, and only then, you know that your day couldn't possibly be that bad and you gain the strength to go on…one more step…one more day of more cup…

One also drinks coffee because one is hooked…

Now, while I am hooked on coffee, I take comfort with the fact that I am not a coffee junkie. Coffee Junkies drink the sludge at the bottom of the day-old pot hanging around the office or in the gas station or at a restaurant.

I am a coffee gourmet.

Like an alcoholic who only consumes vintage Bordeaux, I choose beans and grounds of a certain, provenance (you just want to slap me now, don’t you?)

Anyhow, back to the blog at hand.

I am hooked on coffee. Have been since high school. During college, it got worse, drinking more and more and more and more. Then it ebbed a little after graduation. Don’t get me wrong though, I still drank coffee, just in a little more, moderation.

Then, in the waning months of 2001 and the start of 2002 two events happened that shot my coffee consumption through the roof. My wife got pregnant and I started Graduate School…all within 4 months of each other.

That was the end of my coffee moderation and the beginning of my coffee excessiveness.

An excessiveness that has sustained itself to this day. Yes. My children were born (over 3 years old now) and I finished graduate school last year. But, I still drink WAY to much coffee…though that term is relative. I mean, how much is too much???

It's not that I've been in denial about my coffee addiction; denial is not my strong suit. For years I acknowledged my addiction with a hearty: “Coffee, the best drug of my generation.”

What about alcohol? Eh. Alcohol has its place, but it has laws and such to control the flow.
What about smoking? Eh. Smoking also has laws. And a bit of a stigma associated with it, with people banished to doorways where a community of folks look like they're having way too much fun.

Coffee, on the other hand, is culturally approved, universally accepted, socially enabled, and financially promoted. There's a fix on every corner.

Why do I drink coffee? Well, it helps to focus for some reason. I find I think twice as fast and twice as focused after a couple (or 3…or…4…or 11) cups of coffee.

Some people say that in order to get the full effect of coffee, one should eat a nice solid meal along with it. They say that there is a balance involved in drinking coffee, a balance of solid and liquid, of drinking and eating. Like the natural flow of the universe.

What twaddle. What hogwash. What tripe. What claptrap. What drivel.

One doesn’t need to eat in order to get the full effect of coffee. One needs to drink coffee that is strong and heartening.

There is a certain macho factor too. Like when it’s early in the morning and I'm working and really need a pick-me-up, I don't want some namby-pamby cuppa joe. I don’t want some cup of some gas-station “cappuccino” that is only glorified hot chocolate. I want a cup of coffee made with more than enough scoops to satisfy the world. I want to put my spoon in my coffee and have full confidence that it will stand up in the coffee and not touch any of the sides. The coffee should be hot, not scalding, just hot. The Turks have a proverb about coffee that I take to heart…

“Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.”

Those Turks really knew what they were talking about.