From the files of The PB & The J

It dawned on me the other day that I hadn’t written about any tales of The Peanut Butter & The Jelly in a while. They must have sensed that, because they decided to do something about their lack of showing in my blog by themselves.

A couple of weeks ago, after yet another trip to the doctor to have The PB’s ear’s checked (she’s had an ear infection for 11 of the last 14 weeks), the pediatrician referred her to an Ear, Nose, Throat specialist to see about getting tubes put in her ears.

Last week it was decided, after much discussion, that she would indeed get tubes put in… ‘just like her little cousin’ (My youngest niece, 20 months old, had tubes put in the first of January).

The procedure was scheduled for Tuesday and it was decided that HoMu would take The PB to the hospital, while I would make sure The J got on the school bus.

HoMu and PB had to be at the hospital by 7:30… as they’re getting their coats on to leave, The J jumps out of bed, runs into the kitchen, and starts screaming that she doesn’t want her sister to go to the hospital. She wants her sister to go to school with her and sit next to her on the bus like they always do.

You can see it in her eyes; she’s worried about her sister going to the hospital and doesn’t like the idea of going to school without her.

We’re able to calm The J down, and as they’re about to leave, The J bear-hugs her sister for a solid half-minute (although it seemed more like 30 seconds…) and says; “I love you sissy. I’ll see you after school and we can play if you feel good.”

That twin-connection thing you always hear about… it’s real. And it’s one of the many reasons that I agree with Matthew when he says; “having twins is awesome.”

It is... it truly is...

The De-Lurker Knows...

It's de-lurking week.... so what are you waiting for? De-lurk already.

(I stole the picture from Gidge, who stole it from somebody else, so it's all good...)

Random Thoughts for a Thursday Afternoon

• Paula Abdul is going to play a “prominent” role in a live-action movie of the “Bratz” toy line… does this surprise, anyone?
• I read a report that trumpeted James Cameron’s return to directing. My question is, did anyone miss him?
• Things that make me believe there is a heaven: Reports of a lesbian relationship between Spanish beauty (and one of my '5' celebrities) Penelope Cruz and Mexican beauty (and another of my '5') Salma Hayek.
• Fark Headline of the Day: “Cold front moving into Colorado will drop the temperature 60 degrees overnight, from "jacket weather" to "has anybody seen where my testicles went?" Runner-up: ”Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro downgraded from Spalding to Elmer's.”
• We’re sending more troops to Iraq, the editor of PC World magazine was murdered, an Afghan insurgent helped bin Laden escape, and the “Headline” on CNN.com as I’m writing this post is about David Beckham moving to America… it’s just sad…
• The St Louis Cardinals re-signed Rick “Almost wild-pitched himself out of baseball only to try and become an outfielder who then got hurt and missed the entire World Series-winning season and is now desperately trying to resurrect anything that resembles a baseball career” Ankiel to a minor-league deal… why they did I have no idea…
• How long will Lovie Smith stick with Rex Grossman on Sunday? Apparently, that’s the ONLY news happening in Chicago this week.
• Should have posted this yesterday. A new drinking game for Bush’s speech last night. Take a shot every time Bush says “surge” “freedom,” “liberty,” “terrorists” and “troops.” Hope whoever came up with this game had 911 on hold…
• I just read that before getting behind Indiana Jones IV, George Lucas tried to recruit Harrison Ford for a Han Solo spin-off movie. Imagine the possibilities…
• Recent searches that have brought people to my slice of blogosphere heaven. “Girls with armpit hair” (that’s wrong on so many levels), “sahd wife”, “garth kemp birthday” (who the hell is garth kemp? It’s not another persona of Garth Brooks is it? Cuz one is enough…), “laurie berkner nude” (thanks QofS & SATGS), “where did legend of leprechauns originate” (thanks to my ever-popular St Pat’s day post)
• Gratuitous blog-plug of the week: I’d Like to Buy a Vowel
• In honor of “The King’s” birthday earlier this week, today’s Mental iPod Song of the Day is “Kentucky Rain”:

Seven lonely days
And a dozen towns ago
I reached out one night
And you were gone

Dont know why you'd run,
What youre running to or from
All I know is I want to bring you home
So I'm walking in the rain,
Thumbing for a ride
On this lonely kentucky backroad
I've loved you much too long
And my loves too strong
To let you go, never knowing
What went wrong

Kentucky rain keeps pouring down
And up aheads another town
That Ill go walking thru
With the rain in my shoes,
Searchin for you

In the cold kentucky rain,
In the cold kentucky rain

Showed your photograph
To some old gray bearded man
Sitting on a bench
Outside a genral store
They said yes, shes been here
But their memory wasnt clear
Was it yesterday,
No, wait the day before

So I finl'y got a ride
With a preacher man who asked
Where you bound on such a dark afternoon?
As we drove on thru the rain
As he listened I explained
And he left me with a prayer
That I’d find you

Kewl

I'm not one to brag about stuff... but I had to tell someone who might find it interesting, and I know a few of my faithful readers (if there are any) can appreciate this.

I am now the proud owner of Seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 of "The West Wing".

Yes, you read that right.

All. Seven. Seasons.

Every single one. Even the so-called 'bad season' (season 5 for you non-"Wingers" out there)... I now own them all.

I've tried to push the idea of an ultimate "West Wing" marathon to Honey Mustard, but so far she seems dis-interested, so I thought I would throw the offer out to the blogosphere.

Any takers?

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon

I appreciate the kind words many of you have left.

Honey Mustard asked me last night if I really wanted to stop the blog… I thought for a moment and told her; ‘I don’t know. At times I feel like I want to keep it going, other times I want to stop.”

So who knows what’s going to happen.

You can view this edition of Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon one of two ways; my Random Swan Song… or just another Random post…

• Can someone please tell Pat Robertson to STFU?? Anyone?? Please, I’m begging you…
  Let’s all keep Scott’s son in our thoughts and prayers while he goes through some medical testing to find out what’s going on with his stomach.
• For some reason this morning, as I was working, the movie “The Girl, the Gold Watch & Everything” popped into my head… strange, huh?
• Fark Headline of the Day: "A woman has become the Tower of London's first ever female Beefeater." Ya know, sometimes… the jokes just write themselves…
• Twin moms!! How would you like it if THIS happened to you??? A set of twins were the celebrated last baby of 2006 AND first baby of 2007. A set of twins born at Boston's New England Medical Center Sunday night accomplished this feat when the girl twin was born at 11:58 pm Sunday night (December 31st) and the boy twin was born at 12 AM, Monday (January 1st). Twins with different birthdays… interesting…
• If you were a teenage boy (or girl for that matter), and saw the headline: “Cheerleaders Run Amok in Texas", wouldn’t you immediately book a flight to Texas? I know I will would…
• Is it just me, or is New Years Eve drastically overrated?
• Is it just me, or are the Chicago Bears drastically overrated?
• With the change in Congress taking place tomorrow (whoo-hoo!!), why do I get the feeling that Lumpyhead’s Mom is going to be posting less and less…
• Phrases that brought people to my little corner of the blogosphere: “To Kill a Mockingbird by Harpee Lee” (that’s Harper!), “+"day after day" +appears +"night after night" +heart +"fade away"” (uh… okay), “edmund fitzgerald sinking reason” (quick reason: lots of water), “PMS irritable” (not even gonna touch that one…), “twelve weeks pregnant twins morning sickness worsening”, “lyrics for mr.mom with cords” (uh, I think you meant chords… do they not teach spelling in school anymore??)
• Today’s gratuitous word or phrase to get people to my blog (not that it ever works though): radiculopathy disc herniation
• High temperature of 48 degrees today… in Chicago… in January… is it just me or is there something fundamentally wrong with that?
• This week’s gratuitous blog-plug of the week is:
• Mental iPod song of the day: Johnny Cash’s “Hurt” from American IV: The Man Comes Around
  

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myselfI would find a way

Goodbye

After much thought (with myself) and discussion (with others)… I am 99.98% sure that I will be ending this blog sometime this week…

The readership has dwindled to less-than-obscure levels, the amount of comments/feedback I’m getting is almost non-existent, and the amount of time I have to post is, at this moment, just not there.

Having just re-discovered my ‘groove’ and my ‘muse’, this is a hard thing for me to decide… and I’ve flirted with this before, but this time it feels like the time has come to actually pull the trigger.

Having said all of that… stranger things have happened (look who our ‘president’ is), and maybe something will happen this week that will change my mind…

Or then again... maybe nothing will...

And no, this is not an attempt to illicit comments...

You tell me...

Is it wrong that I feel emasculated jealous that my parents got Honey Mustard the 80 gb iPod for Christmas... which makes my 60 gb feel inadequate small?

Granted, they got me one of THESE... but still... her iPod has 20 more gigs than mine does...

I am jealous... is that wrong?

A Message of the Season

From Me, Honey Mustard, The Peanut Butter and The Jelly:

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!

A Soul-Cleansing Post or A Very Special Episode

Some of you may have noticed that I have been lax in posting the last few months… the truth of the matter is, I’ve been lax in everything for the last few months as I’ve battled through a deep-blue depression funk depression.

A variety of factors influenced these feelings… but the driving force/factor was my job and career... or rather, the lack thereof.

Something happened within me and I’ve turned a corner this past week. I don’t know what it was, but something has changed within me and I’m moving with purpose and aim now rather than wallowing in self-pity and loathsomeness...

If I knew what (or who) happened that rocketed me to this point, I would tell you

(Actually, I would first patent it, market it, make a killing at it, then tell all of you about it...)

All I know is I’m not in a funk anymore... I’m excited about my job, excited about a few job-prospects, and looking forward to a new year.

But the more I think about it... the more I slowly start to realize what happened that helped start me down this road.

It’s been a hard year for me, but then I realized that it hasn’t been anywhere as hard on me as it has for one particular cousin of mine.

In October, she lost her husband in a horrific traffic accident. This past week she lost her older brother (who was under the age of 50) to cancer.

Suddenly... all the problems I had been worrying/complaining about seemed insignificant in comparison… and in talking to my family this past week... I realized that.

Sure, I don’t have a perfect job that pays me what I’m (ahem) worth... but I have a job, I’m healthy, and I have a beautiful and loving wife, two beautiful and loving daughters, my parents, my older brother and an extended family that consists of four Aunts, two Uncles, a plethora of 1st, 2nd and 3rd cousins, two nieces, four nephews and a surfeit of in-laws...

I’m lucky... I’m blessed... I’m happy...

... and I’m back.

About friggin’ time huh?

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon

It’s back… it’s bad… it’s totally rad…

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday Afternoon…

• Did we really need an actual study to determine that couples have pre-marital sex?? In other news: the sky is blue, water is wet…
• 5 days to go… and The PB & The J can barely stand it…
• Can you guess what band has a new album coming out in March? Guns N’Roses. Follow-up question: will anyone care?
• How many of you saw the Christmas episode of “Studio 60?” If you liked the musician’s version of ‘O Holy Night’, you can download it for free on NBC.com… it’s worth it.
• Open question to the Chicago Cubs… $23 million for Jason Marquis? Really??
• Newest Hollywood couple: Christian Slater & Sharon Stone. What can be said besides; ‘Eeeeeewwwwww…’
• Last year The PB & The J had to watch ‘A Christmas Story’ once a day… this year? “The Polar Express”. I can’t decide which is worse…
• Best Fark headline of the day: “In the latest cunning plan to unseat Ted Kennedy, bill seeks to ban trans fats from Massachusetts”
• Tom Cruise has announced he’s gonna make a movie based on a novel by scientologist founder L. Ron Hubbard… cuz earlier attempts to do that did oh so well…
• 1/20/2009…hee hee hee hee
• A few phrases that got people to my small, insignificant corner of the blogosphere: “disney princess electric roadster”, “weekend at bernie's a guilty pleasure”, “word escape me” (coming from Japan’s Google), “placebo”, “kemp” (coming from New Zealand’s Google), “"donte stallworth parents” (only result for that inquiry)…
• Today’s superfluous, blatant attempt to draw people to my small, insig— you get the idea… “super pants”
• Today’s gratuitous and spontaneous blog plug is: Back to Me
• Today’s mental iPod Song of the Day: Christmas is coming, so it’s a Christmas song… “Elf’s Lament” by Barenaked Ladies featuring Michael Bublé.

I'm a man of reason, and they say "'Tis the season to be jolly"

But it's folly when you volley for position

Never in existence has there been such a resistance

To ideas meant to free us

If you could see us, then you'd listen

Toiling through the ages, making toys on garnished wages

There's no union

We're only through when we outdo the competition

I make toys, but I've got aspirations

Make some noise

Use your imagination

Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for

There's a list for who's been

Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

A full indentured servitude can reflect on one's attitude

But that silly red hat just makes the fat man look outrageous

Absurd though it may seem, you know, I've heard there's even been illegal doping

And though we're coping, I just hope it's not contagious

You try to start a movement, and you think you see improvement

But when thrown into the moment, we just don't seem so courageous

I make toys, but I've got aspirations

Make some noise

Use your imagination

Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for

There's a list for who's been

Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

You look at yourself

You're an elf

And the shelf is just filled with disappointing memories

Trends come and go, and your friends wanna know why you aren't just happy makingcrappy little gizmos

Every kid knows they'll just throw this stuff away

We're used to repetition, so we drew up a petition

We, the undersigned, feel undermined

Let's redefine "employment"

We know that we've got leverage, so we'll hand the fat man a beverage

And sit back while we attack the utter lack of our enjoyment

It may be tough to swallow, but our threats are far from hollow

He may thunder, but if he blunders, he may wonder where the toys went

I make toys, but I've got aspirations

Make some noise

Use your imagination

Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for

There's a list for who's been

Naughty or nice, but consider the price

Naughty or nice, but consider the price

Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf.

QUICK!

I’ve been very, very lax in posting lately, and for that I apologize… my life has been in a bit of flux lately, and, while it hasn’t totally leveled out yet, it’s getting there. And since Mr. Big Dubya posted my daughters picture on his mantel, I thought I better spruce the place up a bit before more people stop by…

I have a story to tell…it’s about sex… murder… and debauchery…

It really isn’t, but those three words should get me some interesting visitors via Google, don’t ya think?

Actually, it’s a quick post to say to you all: thanks for stoppng by. I’ll be funny and informative again soon… I have one post ready to go, but it’s on my laptop at work (the bastards took away my blog access at work so I can only work on this and my other blogs at home – let me rephrase that, I can only POST at work, I can still type posts up at work)

Have a good day, and for all of you visiting for the first time, check out my Top Ten Posts on the right… no, not there, lower… no, farther down… keep scrolling, keep scrolling… there ya go.

Also be sure to check out my ever-famous ‘100 Things’ post… also on the right.

Thanks again for stopping by.

Funny as hell!

This is an absolute hilarious mix of "Peanuts" and "Scrubs"...

Was Gordon Gekko* Right?

Christmas is fast approaching, and that can mean only one thing… do you know what that one thing is?

Peace?

Love?

Happiness?

No…

It’s greed.

The children, and let’s be honest, some adults, are getting greedy and The Peanut Butter and The Jelly are right in line with all the other 3-10 year olds.

Now I don’t think this is something that purely affects my children… I think all children of a certain age experience this concept of greed at Christmastime… it’s natural… they’ve been getting these brightly-wrapped packages that they are not only allowed to tear open, but are encouraged to tear open, and inside are things they get to play with or wear… how could they not get greedy?

The Peanut Butter and The Jelly are four, and they now know that Christmas = Presents. It’s a pretty easy equation along the lines of 1 + 1 = 2 that anyone (save for our current “President”— sorry, I should save that kind of talk for my poli-blog) can understand…

We as parents try to teach them the true meaning of Christmas, whether it be from a secular (the birth of Jesus) or non-secular (love to all mankind) standpoint… but who can compete with the constant barrage of catalogs, friends & cousins, TV & radio commercials and the like that are children are being inundated with?

At our house, we’ve been receiving gift and toy catalogs since mid-October… and the girls seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to those. They can sniff ‘em out and pour over them faster than people running from a Kevin Federline “concert.”

So where should we, as parents, place the blame?

Ourselves? I’m a firm believer that it’s up to the parents to make sure a child does what is right and doesn’t do what is wrong, so with that I say yes, but with a qualifier: we were probably the same way when we were their age and we turned out alright. And as I said above, we try our hardest to teach them the true meaning of the holiday, but sometimes we’re outgunned and outmaneuvered and it’s easier to pick your battles and know which ones can be won or lost.

Who else can be blamed?

Cousins? Well, I could blame a couple of my nieces and nephews who seem to exacerbate the greed with The PB & The J, but that would be unfair…

The media? Well… the media definitely seems to be an aggressor/agitator/make-it-worser (it’s a word it I use it) when it comes to children and greed, but I don’t think I can place the blame solely on them.

Greed is not necessarily a bad thing in moderation, and odds are my kids will grow out of it eventually… I did. But for now, “get while the getting’s good” seems to be the mantra for Christmas 2006.

Next year, I bet it will change….


* “…greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works.”

D'oh!!!

I no longer have access to blogs at work... so... if you thought my posting had been in a lull lately, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Seriously though, I will try and post as much as I can in the evening hours after The Peanut Butter and The Jelly go to bed.

First Scott loses his access, then me... who's next??

11/30/06 UPDATE: Hmmmm... something very strange is going on here... at times I have access, other times I don't. It seems as though someone is sitting at a computer monitoring station somewhere and every once in a while, just to piss me off, they'll take away access to bloglines...

Where's the Christmas love man? It's not like I'm surfing through porn (like any man I do that in the comfort of my home after my wife has gone to sleep...), it's a blog...I'm trying to keep up with my blogmigos (some of whom seem to be ignoring me now, but that's another post for another day)

What will the next hour hold? Access to blogs... or no access to blogs? Come back later and find out... I know I will.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Hope you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy this snippit (about 5:30 minutes in length) from what I consider the best Thanksgiving sitcom episode EVAH!

Words Escape me...

Word's escape me in trying to describe this, supposedly one of the 'hottest' toys this Christmas.

This is supposed to be a children's toy, but first blush brings to mind a toy of a more "adult" nature...

Your thoughts?

Edmund Fitzgerald Redux

Kemp's Note: Today is the 31st anniversary of the wreck of the USS Edmund Fitzgerald. I wrote a post about it last year (classified to the right as one of my Top Ten Posts), so I thought I would post it again, this time with a useful LINK HERE, to a story from WJRT-TV. Enjoy.

The Great Lakes cover over 90,000 square miles and supply one-fifth of the world’s fresh water, with Lake Superior being the largest. The Chippewa Indians call Lake Superior “Kitchi-gummi” which means “great-water”. Later discovered by French explorers who named the lake, “le lac superieur”, which translates to upper lake.

Lake Superior is one of the busiest shipping lanes in North America and is connected to the Atlantic Ocean via the St. Lawrence Seaway. More than 1000 ships travel its waters each year landing either in the port of Duluth in the United States or Thunder Bay in Canada. Lake Superior is also large enough that it has considerable effect on the weather, especially when winds blow across its surface. Duluth sees over 50 days of fog between spring and fall and sometimes during a particularly cold winter the entire lake will freeze over. Another weather phenomenon common to the region, and particularly to Lake Superior, are the sometimes-vicious “northeasters”, which are gales that occur (mostly in November) and are formed when intense low pressure systems pass over the lake, thus creating hurricane-force winds that churn up enormous waves.

(Locals refer to these storms as “the witch of November.” It’s little wonder that the bottom of Lake Superior is littered with the skeletons of no less than 350 ships, most of them falling victim to the temperamental November ‘witch’)

That’s fascinating Kemp, but why the hell are you telling us all of this? And why the hell so many links?

Simple. Today (Thursday, November 10, 2005) is the 30th Anniversary of the most famous sinking on Superior (as well as the most baffling): that of the S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald.

This is a story that has always interested me and I knew, after realizing that the anniversary was today, that I had to write about it and give all you loyal readers the means to find out more, thus the superfluity of linkage.

The Fitzgerald was one of the largest lake vessels of her kind at 729 feet long, 75 feet wide and with a cargo capacity of 27,500 tons. The 7,500 horsepower engines were built by Westinghouse Electric Corporation and helped the ship set different shipping records.

The captain was Earnest MacSorley and gale warnings had already been issued when MacSorley steered the Edmund Fitzgerald, loaded down with taconite, out of Superior, Wisconsin’s docks shortly after 2PM. Meanwhile what looked like a typical November storm was intensifying. On the morning of November 10, heavy rain was falling and winds were gusting from the Northwest in excess of 60 mph as the storm tracked toward Canada, pummeling the Fitzgerald. A little after 3PM that same afternoon, Captain MacSorley reported that his ship was suffering damage and listing. At that time, another ship (The S.S. Arthur M. Anderson) that was sailing close to the Fitzgerald, agreed to stay close until they reached the calmer waters of Whitefish Bay.

In less than a half hour, the storm intensified with wind gusts clocking in at over 100 miles per hour. Shortly thereafter MacSorley again called in to the Anderson, and reported that the ship had lost all radar. Both ships continued on through the worsening conditions, the Anderson keeping track of the Edmund Fitzgerald on her radar screen. By early evening, around 7PM, meteorologists believe the storm’s pressure reached its lowest point; this combined with energy from the jet stream and created a series of enormous waves that first slammed into the Anderson and then into the Fitzgerald. The Anderson sustained damage but survived the onslaught and immediately The captain of the Anderson, Jesse Cooper, radioed the Edmund Fitzgerald to warn the crew of what to expect. The last words that came from Captain MacSorley were, “We are holding our own”.

Ten minutes later, around 7:25 PM… the big freighter had disappeared from all radar screens and the ‘witch’ had claimed yet another victim.

The day after the wreck, Mariners' Church in Detroit rang its bell 29 times, once for each life lost, a memorial that continues to this day. Every year on the anniversary, the church reads the names of the crewmen and rings the church bell.

An investigation by the Coast Guard suggested that the Edmund Fitzgerald had likely suffered enough initial damage that she began taking on water, causing the ship to list. Already unstable, the Fitzgerald was unable to ride out the onslaught of the massive waves once the northeaster worsened and she foundered, plunging to the bottom of Lake Superior with enough force to snap her in half. That report proved controversial, with the most common alternate theory contending that inoperative radar forced the crew to rely on maps that were woefully inacurate and, as a result, the Fitzgerald ran aground on a shoal without the crew knowing it and received bottom damage, thus causing it to gradually take on water until it sank.

The Edmund Fitzgerald now lies rusting under 550 feet of water. None of the sailors bodies were ever recovered. On July 4, 1995, a submarine expedition salvaged the ship’s bell and replaced it with another (as a tribute to the sailors and their families) with the date of the disaster and the names of the dead engraved on it. The bell is on display at the Whitefish Point museum near Paradise, Michigan.

The mystery of exactly how and why the Edmund Fitzgerald sank has never been discovered and the attachment of the ship and the story lives on, helped by the Gordon Lightfoot song: “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.” (lyrics to the song can be found here)

After reading a piece about the sinking in Newsweek, Lightfoot was inspired to write one of the signature songs of his lengthy career (and also one of his greatest hits) that turned into an improbable Top 40 smash.

Maritime historian Frederick Stonehouse, when speaking about the song, states: “In large measure, his song is the reason we remember the Edmund Fitzgerald. That single ballad has made such a powerful contribution to the legend of the Great Lakes.”

Three decades after the tragedy, the Fitzgerald remains the most famous of the 6,000 ships that disappeared on the Great Lakes. And the reasons for its sinking will probably never be known.

Much left to learn, young grasshoppers...

Last night I was talking to my brother on the phone about the (euphoric) events of the past few days. In doing so, I mentioned that since Rumsfeld resigned earlier that day, and since the Democrats won control of the House and the Senate, that “Dubya is curled-up in the fetal position and crying.”

The Peanut Butter and The Jelly immediately asked; “Cuckoo-Bananas is crying?”

I obviously have taught them well...

Something Wicked this Way Comes: The Book Meme

I’m a reader. An avid reader. So I’m gonna change it a little and make it ‘More Than One Book That…’

Why? Because I’m suffering from a severe case of Blogstipation (should that be capitalized?) and think this could be the very thing to get me out of my blogging-doldrums.

What gives me the authority to change it? Well… it’s my blog so, conceivably, I can do what I want.

1. One book that changed my life. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Quite possibly the best book I’ve ever read with a message of tolerance, acceptance, and friendship. Another one is Patterns of Culture by Ruth Benedict. My parents (both Sociology majors in college) made me read this book when I was in 8th grade… and I understand why. For those of you who don’t know the book, it’s an examination of cultural studies that many say is as relevant today as it was when it was written in 1934.

2. One book I read more than once. The problem with this question is that there are quite a few books I’ve read more than once. Some of them include: Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters, The Art of War by Sun Tzu, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

3. One book I'd want on a deserted island. Okay, changing this one to more than one sort of voids the premise, so I’m gonna keep this as ‘one’ and say To Kill a Mockingbird. It’s one of those books that every time I read it, I notice or read something new.

4. One book that made me laugh. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. Actually, let’s throw in the entire series while you’re at it and add a couple of his non-Hitchhiker’s works like Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency and Long, Dark Tea-Time of the Soul.

5. One book that made me cry. I’m a man… we don’t cry… what are you thinking?? Me cry?? Hey! How about them Rams Bears Colts? Sigh… no one’s buying this so I might as well ‘fess up’. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. Cried like a girl baby…Also Travels with my Aunt by Graham Greene. While it’s not a tearjerker per se, it’s full of wit, wry comedy and poignancy. If you’ve never read Graham Greene, I highly suggest you start off with this novel then progress to The Quiet American, Our Man in Havana and one of his plays: “The Potting Shed”

6. One book I wish I'd written.. This is a toughie. Do I go with something that made the author a shitload of money or do I go with something that changed society and/or people?? I’m gonna have to go with one of my favorite all-time books and say The Art of War by Sun Tzu. Granted, he probably didn’t make a whole lot of money from the book, but his ancestors are and let’s face it; it’s changed a lot of people and probably has altered some lives.

7. One book I wish had never been written. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen “Whiny-Ass Bitch” Covey. What a bunch of claptrap; pointless, inane, and chock full of shit that should be freaking COMMON SENSE!!!! It’s not that hard… Why do I wish it had never been written? Because some people take it to heart (if you’re one of those people: I feel for you, I really do) and try to live their entire life by it. I read it the first time in high school and felt like I needed a shower afterwards. I don’t mean to get off on a rant here, but if more people stopped reading Covey and started reading real books, then we wouldn’t have this problem with every person in the world thinking that they can solve the problems of everyone else despite not having any training or education in that area…

Whew… I’m okay now…

8. One book I'm reading now. QB VII by Leon Uris & The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Capra.

9. One book I've been meaning to read. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. I’ve never read it… I’ve meant to… I’ve wanted to… I just never have… but I am meaning to read it… just give me some time…

10. Tag, you're it: Scott, MetroDad & Croutonboy.

V-O-T-E-!

There’s less than 24 hours to go and while many politicians (and Liberals) are contemplating sedatives (if not something stronger) there is an election tomorrow and we at TBWA (and Kemp's Blog) want everyone to get out and vote…

You can’t vote by sitting in front of your computer (at least not yet).

And you can’t vote by sitting on your couch at home…unless of course you have an absentee ballot.

You have to go to your respective polling place and pull the lever, punch the chad, push the button, scan the optic or fill-in the oval (which one of those do you think sounds sexual?).

In short; you must vote.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a Democrat, republican, Independent, Libertarian, Communist, Green or even a Mickey Mouse party fan… you must get out and vote.

If you think your ballot is worthless and doesn’t carry any weight you’re wrong.

According to The Voters Paradox by Leon Felkins and Mack Tanner the importance of any single vote declines the more voters as having made a rational decision.

The other side of the coin says that with fewer voters, the influence of an individual’s vote rises. Furthermore, if you don’t’ vote, you’re allowing others to speak for you… and that ain’t right.

You want another reason? Voting is a profound statement of our democracy, a birthright if you will, that no one, absolutely no one, should take for granted and ignore.

Every voice counts.

Every opinion counts.

Every vote counts.

So get your ass out to the polls and vote tomorrow.

Now… if you want to use your own brain and make an informed decision that will help our country, then vote Democratic.

If you want to screw the country with it’s collective pants on while maintaining the status quo, then vote republican.

If you feel guilty and want to vote your conscience while drinking coffee from a styrofoam cup, vote Green party.

If you want to vote with an eye on common ownership, vote Communist.

If you want to vote with an eye towards being free to do whatever you want, vote Libertarian.

However you decide to vote… just vote.


Cross-posted at The "Bush"Whacked Administration