The iPod Meme

I wasn’t tagged by Sarah, per se, but I haven’t done a meme in a while, so here ya go… and in the interest of full-disclosure, we reset* our iTunes a few months back when we got our big-ass external hard-drive, so the numbers are probably a tad off…

How many total songs?
8,142 plus 5 videos, 2 TV episodes, one short-movie, and a plethora of photos

Sort by Time - Shortest and Longest…
“A Conjunction of Drones Simulating the Way in Which Sufjan Stevens Hasan Existential Crisis in the Great Godfrey Maze” (:19) by Sufjan Stevens from Illinoise
“Alice’s Restaurant Massacree” (18:30) by Arlo Guthrie from The Best of Arlo Guthrie

Sort by song title - First and Last…
“A” by Cartel from the album Chroma
“99 Luftballons” by Nena from The Download Album

Sort by Album - First and Last…
“(What’s the story) Morning Glory?” by Oasis
“Youth” by Matisyahu

Sort by Artist - First and Last…
A Tribe Called Quest
ZZ Top

Top Five Most Played Songs…*
“American Idiot” by Green Day’
“Superman” by Lazlo Bane
“Piece of my Heart” by Janis Joplin
“Suddenly I see” by KT Tunstall
“Hear me in the Harmony” by Harry Connick, Jr.

Find the following words. How many songs show up?
Sex: 221, Death: 123 , Love: 326, You: 2,058, Home: 201, Boy: 372, Girl: 421

First five songs that come up on Party Shuffle… Click HERE to get some information about how the iTunes’ and iPod’s shuffle algorithms work
“Rolling off a Log” by World Party
“Girl, You’ll be a Woman Soon” by Urge Overkill
“Waiting for my Real Life to Begin” by Colin Hay
“Ain’t That a Kick in the Head” by Dean Martin
“My Sweet Lord” by George Harrison

I won’t be tagging anyone because, well, it usually falls on deaf ears anyway… though I will tag my good friend Scott… remember him?? Let’s see if he’ll come back to the land of bloggers…

BTW; Scott is engaged...

Memories

Kemp’s Note: I know I’m going to get thrashed for this song by, well, quite a few of my blogmigos, but a memory is a memory, and it can’t be changed…

Memories are a strong thing, a strong thing that stays in the recesses of our mind and comes out with certain cues we get… the smell of cookies baking reminding you of your grandmother Florence… the sight of a red sky in fall reminding you of your beloved Uncle Nishan… and music, perhaps the strongest mental cue there is.

The best time of my early, pre-adult, pre-bill paying life was college… I had a circle of friends (most of whom I still stay in touch with) that were close, one of which would eventually become my wife.

Since my roommate and I had the largest apartment out of the group, everyone would congregate there… and one particular moment has stayed in my mind more than others.

It was me, HoMu, my roommate and the rest of our little gang. There were only two days left in the semester before winter break… and the six of us were having a beer (imagine that), talking about life and the holidays and the future. It was a great time… and then, if by design, it started to lightly snow outside and the below song started playing on the stereo…

The images… the sounds… the feeling of all of us sitting there and talking are fully ingrained into my brain, and whenever I hear this song, I’m immediately transported back to that time… and those friends. A time of youth and few responsibilities… a time that saw a love blooming… and the holiday season upon us.

Memories…

Enjoy the song… it’s Mariah Carey’s, “All I Want for Christmas is You”

Things that make my heart hurt 2

I don't think they quite understand the concept...

Wanted: Assistance

I am considering, on advice of my consultant Lance, a move over to wordpress.com because, as I have mentioned many, many, many many times; blogger bites it.

What I am looking for is someone who has done this before (moving from blogger to wordpress) because I have questions and you, hopefully, have answers. Such as, is it possible to move all my posts from here to there? And if so, how.

Yes, I COULD look at wordpress' help section, but why do that when I have the smartest blogmigos and readers around?

TIA...

Hmmmm...

it seems blogger (who bites it btw) doesn't like my new template... so everytime I post something it magically dissapears... almost like {puts tinfoil hat on} someone doesn't want me to post...

Hopefully I can get this thing figured out soon...

Goodbye Mr. Knievel...

1938 - 2007

A Toast....

Kemp's Note: The story you are about to see is true; the names have been changed to protect the innocent. For example: George Baker is now called "Sylvia Wiss. "

My older brother got married last Friday. I was the Best Man and The Peanut Butter and The Jelly were the Flower Girls. As the Best Man, I was required to give a toast to the happy couple... for your convenience, it's below.

More wedding shenanigans later...

If I could just say a few words... I'd be a better public speaker.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Kemp, Prof’s little brother… in age, not in size.

Let me just start by saying that Lawyer looks absolutely stunning while Prof looks... well, stunned.

I consider it a great privilege that Prof asked me to be his best man as he has quite generously returned the favor that I asked of him 10 ½ years ago, during which he took the opportunity to make lots of cheap jokes at my expense... which means I now have the right to reciprocate… I should warn you now; pay back is gonna be a bitch.

When Prof asked me to be his Best Man, I immediately started going through all the stories about him that would best embar– I mean, describe him…

I could start by telling the story of how, on my 24th birthday, we went golfing and he got hit IN the head with a golf ball… or the story of his 30th birthday when he got hit ON by two 70-year old women at the Denny’s restaurant in Peoria… or how he almost got hit by a wayward bottle rocket one fourth of July… how he fell into a Christmas tree one year... or how my wife Honey Mustard likes to compare us to Frasier and Niles Crane... HoMu, you and Lawyer will have to decide which of you is Maris and which of you is Lilith...

But then I thought of a better story.

You see; many people thought that Prof was a confirmed bachelor, but something happened about five and a half years ago that changed him and made him more reflective on his life, and that was the birth of his nieces, The PB & The J…

Long story, somewhat short version... my wife HoMu was hospitalized with a difficult pregnancy 6 weeks prior to the birth of our twins. Surprising everyone, the girls… without me being there, hell without anyone being there, decided to come into this world a little earlier than planned.

Since I was a good 2-hour drive away in Aurora, and HoMu was in Chicago, I was unable to be there when the girls were hastily born … but I knew that Prof was only a few miles away so I called him, trembling - my voice cracking, and told him that the girls had been born, and someone needed to be there when HoMu woke up. Prof dropped everything, raced out of his DePaul office and took a very expensive cab ride to the University of Chicago Hospital.

Of course the nurses assumed he was the father and started telling him about the birth... and the incisions... and then, came the pictures... ending with one nurse asking Prof if he had ever seen a placenta that large... Prof’s response was a sardonic ‘not since breakfast.’

When HoMu woke up, Prof was there to comfort her, hold her hand, assure her that everything was fine, the girls were doing well, and that I was on my way…

After I got there, Prof's adventures continued as he traveled on foot in the dead of night, through the South Side of Chicago looking for a place to develop pictures of his nieces so HoMu, who wouldn’t be able to see the girls until the next day, could see them.

The first time I met Lawyer I told her this story… and she, and Prof, started to mist up… and it was then that I knew that these two were meant to be together

Lawyer, I know that Prof loves you very much because, you know, he spent a long time writing this speech FOR me.

And I know that you love him because you have accepted the eccentric, sometimes complicated (insert generic last name here) family.

But in all seriousness, I’d like to end with a quote for the two of you to remember from one of my favorite authors, Henry David Thoreau; “There is no remedy for love than to love more” so let’s raise our glasses to the happy couple, Prof and lawyer; may the joys you share today be the beginning of a lifetime of great happiness and fulfillment. Congratulations, I love you both.

Happy Thanksgiving...

I've done this before, but I stand by my statement that this is THE FUNNIEST Thanksgiving themed sitcom episode EVAH!!

Relax... and enjoy...

Things that make my head hurt #1

The publicist for Norman Mailer recently said of Kurt Vonnegut that he was

“the American Mark Twain.”

So who would be the British Shakespeare?

Sigh…

How many times?

After taking a break from blogging for a few months (2 1/2, but who’s counting?) I am once again feeling the mojo to rejoin the blogosphere and start blogging again.

To say I’ve had blogstipation would be a cheap cop-out… so instead I’ll say that the inspiration to write again has struck and I have found my muse.

Also, the issues in my life that led to the, well we'll call it a sabbatical for now, have slowly evaporated, and I find myself feeling good… looking good… and doing good…

Besides, there’s a lot of stuff to talk about…

My "confirmed bachelor" brother gets married this Friday in downtown Chicago... and I am the Best Man for said wedding and The PB & The J are the flower girls...

I am having a male-oriented "pro-ce-dure" in December...

HoneyMustard and I have decided, due to her PCOS & diabetes, we are done having children but are indeed looking into adoption...

The family in-laws are heading to Disney World after Christmas… All. 18. Of. Us. (eep)

The PB & The J are enjoying school, dance and gymnastics and are as full of life as ever...

The PB is being weaned off her seizure medication and will have a 3-day test in December to see if she has grown out of her seizure disorder...

So I am looking forward to regaling you with tales of whimsy, fun, drama, horror, opinion... in short; life.

I am in the process of re-designing the ol' blog, and it's a mighty task... so bear with me.

Returning in five... four... three... two...

“… good things don't end with 'eum,' they end with 'mania' or 'teria.’”

Or they simply end…

Here comes the smackdown

Tonight is my fantasy football draft with a plethora of my blogmigos from around the Blogospehere… we call our league; The Blogpound (sense a theme here?)

Below, in our league’s draft order, are the poor souls whose money I will be collecting after the season… (yes, I stole the links from Sarah):

Kaiser

Child’s Play x2

MetroDad

LA Daddy

ME (AKA; 2007 Blogpound Champion)

Marginally Clever

Bump

CroutonBoy

Queen of Spain

BIYF

More Diapers

Sarah & the Goon Squad

GAME ON!

Is it a bad sign...

...when you find yourself singing the songs from "High School Musical 2" and your kids are nowhere around???

Guilty-feeling Inquiring minds want to know...

Um, ok...

We took The Peanut Butter & The Jelly out for dinner last night and as we’re sitting down at the table The J says; ‘I need a beer.’

She meant root beer, but still...

'Blogfather'ing Alert!

Hey, I've got a post up at The Blogfathers today, why don't you go check it out? It's a moral imperative...

eep

Woman Has Rare Identical Quadruplets

Here my wife and I were, thinking that having two that are identical was (is) hard and this brave woman goes and has four babies that are identical.

She wins.

Regression

I have a temper… always have. I could easily chalk it up to my Spanish heritage and the infamous Spanish-temper… but that’s a cop-out.

I have never struck anyone in anger… not my wife or kids, nor my friends and family. My temper is not like that, it manifests itself in a much more childish manner…

A blow-up.

My temper is the precise reason I took up Tai Chi and meditation in college… because my temper had gotten the better of me one too many times and I needed to, for lack of a better term, channel it.

And it worked… granted, I still get upset (who doesn’t)… but I don’t have the blow-ups that I used to.

Until yesterday.

I had an adjunct faculty meeting last night and when I got home I noticed right away that Honey Mustard was upset… no details here, just that she was upset and it involved a couple of my in-laws.

I ended up calling the in-laws myself and had an abrupt conversation that ended in me throwing the cord-less phone across the room and slamming the door.

No one witnessed this, The PB & The J who were playing downstairs and HoMu was putting the dog out… it was just me being incredibly stupid and childish. And now I feel ashamed, upset disappointed that I lost my cool and blew up and thought that ‘airing it out’ on the blog would help.

It’s not…

A Sign of Things to Come

“The female of the species is more deadly than the male.” - Rudyard Kipling

Oh you have no idea Rudyard… you have no idea…

This past weekend, Honey Mustard and I took The Peanut Butter & The Jelly to the Illinois State Fair in Springfield to see Corbin Blue/Drake Bell in concert.

Who’s Corbin Bleu you ask?

He’s one of the stars of the evil empire’s Disney’s “High School Musical,” he also starred in The PB’s favorite movie; “Jump In.”

There were approximately 7300 people at the concert, with the breakdown something like this:

• Girls anywhere from ages 3-17; 6899


• Boys anywhere from ages 3-17; 100


• Mothers/grandmothers/etc; 291


• Fathers/grandfathers/etc; 10

Ok, there were probably more than 10 men there, but not a whole-lot more… I was definitely outnumbered and realize I could have been trampled and overpowered at any given moment, but that is part of being a good father. And when The PB & The J told me that I was the best Daddy in the world for taking them to the concert... well, my heart was bursting with pride and joy.

When the first act, Jordan Pruitt, came out the audience response was a succinct; meh.

When Drake Bell (of Nickelodeon’s Drake & Josh) came out… the audience roared with approval.

When Corbin came out, all I heard was the squealing of thousands of girls… something along the lines of "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

That was immediately followed by a semi-constant ringing in my ears that went away… well, it really hasn’t yet…

The PB & The J enjoyed themselves immensely… and were dancing and singing with all the other girls in attendance.

The PB & The J are five… and we saw plenty of other girls around the same age… with their High School Musical or “I heart Corbin” t-shirts on… teeny-bopping around, screaming, and generally acting like a concert-goer.

But seeing all of this – seeing the throngs of girls in a tizzy ready to rip the eyes out of any other girl that made eyes at Corbin – made me realize one thing;

I am oh-so-screwed…

It’s gonna be me… HoMu… and The PB & The J… no other males in the house…

Me… and three females…

Pray for me…

In all seriousness though; Bell wasn’t bad. His musical influences are The Beatles, and you can definitely hear it in his music and also in his fashion with his publicty photo on the state fair’s website looking very early-Beatlesesque;

As far as Corbin goes, he’s been working out since “High School Musical.” Midway through his show he removed his shirt to reveal a tank top with a glittery peace sign, and his muscles were a’bulging with more than a few of the mother’s oooing and aahing… never mind the fact that he’s only 20…

And one other question; when the HELL did concert t-shirts get so ridiculously expensive? $30, are you kidding me?

Best Greeting Card Ever

Friday was Honey Mustard's birthday, and yesterday I threw a 35th b-day bash for her (more on that later).

The card my brother gave her is one of the most clever cards I've ever seen... even though it took a potshot at me.

[front] "Sister-in-law; I thought about getting you one of those gag gifts for your birthday...

[inside]: ...but you already have my brother."

Ouch